The Sounds of Silence

So, I am sitting here in quiet contemplation. The kids are farmed out.. Jasmin spent the night with my cousin and her kid.. and Caitie had to "take care of Nana's cold". Steven is selling fireworks for his Mother's company again today. He worked 3 10 hour days this week.. and likely to have an even longer day today. Hopefully he'll be home to ring in the New Year with me. :(


Anyway, back to quiet comtemplation. I, of course today, am thinking about the past year, and looking toward the new one. Most people do this in one way or another on new years eve.. so I am not alone.. just read my blogroll.

The past.

2005 all in all has been a decent year for us. I am so thankful

We have all been remarkably healthy. Steven did ave a quick run of pneumonia in January, but he had insurance, and sick days to use. So it wasnt traumatic. The girls havent had much to speak of. Caitie had pink eye once, and her tonsils out, oral surgery and one cold... believe me when I say.. for her? Thats remarkably good. Jasmin had a cold. And I had a quick one.. but nothing more.

We lost Steven's Aunt Mary, and Uncle John. But no one else. This year saw Steven's brother survive rare cancer. Today he is cancer free. I have family members who are growing old and I fear for them in 2006, but in 2005, all of our loved ones were safe.

We have a home. There are so many who lost thiers this year. The tragedy of the tsunami in Asia, and the awful losses from hurricane katrina make me so thankful for what we have... even if the floor is weak, the bathtub drains unexplicably slowly and youd better not turn on the ceiling fan in the livingroom.. it has a short. Every time I think about how I hate this tiny little trailer.. or the walls feel like they are closing in on me. I remind myself. "I did not have a 20 ft wall of water crash through my house this year".

We have a car. It has character. You have to try several times before it actually starts. The doors squeak so loudly that they can be heard through closed doors. (Steven calls them his "alarm system") But it runs. It is paid for.

We did lose Steven's job this year. It has been a devastating loss. I am a stay at home mom. So we went from one decent income to practically nothing in a split second. But, we are safe. Steven was not denied nor penalized in his unemployment. More important to Steven, the state could not find him at fault. Even they agree that is was nepotism and not poor work that caused his termination. So our bills are paid. We have food stamps and medicaid, and we did get a tiny bit behind to my Dad in the three weeks that we were without income. But its ok. He understands. And Tax refund checks will be on thier way very soon.

2006 the future

I love looking ahead to a clean slate. Knowing that there are mistakes that will be made is not frightening. I dont make "resolutions" setting myself up to feel inadequate from the start isnt such a good idea. I make goals.

This is the plan

This year I want to connect better with my kids. Stop the screaming and make better choices about discipline. Create teaching moments instead of spankings. I want to be more patient.

This year I want to be more healthy in my relationship with Jasmin's Mother. I need to deal with my issues of insecurity and let go of the past. I need to channel my dislike for her into helping Jasmin deal with what her mother has done to her. I need to remember that if it does not benefit Jasmin.. I should not say it.

This year I want to be more aware of my eating habits and to make excercize a priority for ALL of us.

This year I want to "harden" my shell when it comes to my Mother. To allow comments she makes about my child rearing to roll off my shoulders. To not allow myself to be hurt or annoyed when her opinion doesnt match with mine. I want to be less quick to jump and quicker to listen and then react.

Then there are set in stone resolutions that Im begining as new habits.. remember it takes 21 days to set a habit. Do it 21 days in a row and its yours

1. limit eating out to ONCE a week.
2. eliminate all regular soda. Drink only diet.
3. Drink 8 glasses of water a day.. thats three 16 oz water bottles.
4. take at least 15 minutes of time for ME a day. Even if it means getting up 15 mintes early
5. no more pajamas all day. get dressed. do my hair and make up, even wear shoes. We are not a hermit.
6. Read through the bible. If Marie McDowell can do it. I can

So there you have it. My thoughts and goals.. nothing remarkable. Just me trying to do better. Really, thats all anyone needs to do. Make this year better than the last, by just trying to do things better. ;)

Happy New Year.

The Best Babysitter on the Planet

The best babysitter on the planet


SIGH.


I wish that when you saw that caption that you'd see my picture. But alas and alack.. it is not so. I am not the babysitter that I once was. I used to bring toys and games and make cookies with my charges. I used to be in HIGH demand. When I was a teenager I babysat every single weekend and school holiday. I had preferd clients and gave them heads-up when a new family was calling me.

Then I had my own kids. Now I just add one more plate of hotdogs. I tell the kids to scot over so one more can see the tv.. or I scream from the kitchen to quit fighting and stop the banging.

I am a mom.. not unlike my mom. On our holidays we had 6 in the house. Every time. Michele, Tracy, Tina, Josh, Joe, and Melissa. And usually my best friend Elizabeth and maybe a neighbor kid or two. I really wonder how she did it without needing a strong drink.. or at least a bubblebath. I dont remember what she used to do while we all played.. maybe what I do now.. I dunno


All the tv shows are on vacation. I am going Crazy. Re-runs. everything, Ellen Degerners, Martha Stewart... all re-runs. BLAH. I just realized that the day they all come back is ALSO the day the kids go back to school. halalujah. That will be a good day.

official BTS countdown

a whole bunch o youngins

We are officially at T-minus 11 days and counting to BTS. All systems are go.


BTS... thats BACK TO SCHOOL. I am in near meltdown status. The picture above is a decent shot of the children that I am keeping during the winter vacation this year... give or take a child every day. I never know who I may or may not have on any given day. I feel like a drop in laundry... "Do you starch?" No, and furthermore, I cannot promise that your child will survive the day without being bitten, scratched or annoyed. They are likely to spend time in the dreaded "time out chair" and I also will not vouch for the nutrition of the meals they will eat. (we've either had hot dogs or pizza for lunch every single day)There will NOT be crafts, activities, or field trips. (Unless you count the four that I took to walmart yesterday to return some pants Caitlin got that didnt have a button) I realize that this is not an enriching environment.. but what do you want for $10 a day?


heard at my house in the last 5 hours

"STEE nite nite?" (translation? Is steven still asleep?)
YES
"Can we watch Princess diaries 2 AGAIN?"
NO
"Stee nite nite?" (Again Is Steven still asleep?)
YES
"Is it lunch time yet?"
NO
"Stee sh-ow?" (translation? Is Steven in the shower?)
YES
"Is it lunch time yet, and if its not lunch time yet can we watch Princess Diaries 2 again?"
NO
"Stee bye bye?" (translation? Did Steven LEAVE Michele alone with all these kids?)
YES
"Can we watch Princes Daires 2 AGAIN?"
NO
FOR THE LAST TIME TAKE "HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME" OFF THE REPEAT ON THE CD PLAYER
NO YOU CANNOT TAKE THE 200 LB DOG FOR A WALK
NO YOU CANNOT MAKE PRANK CALLS
NO YOU CANNOT MAKE COOKIES (AAAKKK!)
NO ALL OF YOU MAY NOT TAKE A BUBBLE BATH TOGETHER

....

........


get ready for it


.......................


"well then can we watch Princess Diaries 2 again?

silence


.....

............


................

yes

God Bless Us Every One

thank god its over


This is a picture of my dad... ha ha huh? It made ME laugh anyway.

We had a wonderful christmas. The girls got a haul as usual. Things were tight as far as steven and I .. but I did manage to sneak in a wireless keyboard and mouse for our PC. Kind of a gift for both of us. Hopefully all the checks will clear :) (Just kidding) I keep telling myself its just money... we'll make some more. I didnt worry about it to much since our anniversary is coming up. We always try to get away just a little and spend some time just us, even if its just to the beach. I cant wait, we need a break.

I got the cool Magic bullet blender from tv from my parents. I tried it out and it works pretty good. Made a good smoothie... if I were the drinking kind.. wich I am not (any more) Id be making Vodka slushes and pina coladas right now. After next week with all 6 kids present... I may be the drinking kind again. I'll keep you posted. I want to watch the TV informercial again so I can get neato ideas to use it for. I also got a pancake griddle and some pampered chef spatulas.. I like to cook, are you catching the theme there?

We missed my sister all day long,I kept wondering what she was doing and if she was missing us as much.She spent the day with our Aunt and cousins. So I knew she was in good hands.I did well and didnt cry all day until after dinner and I was thinking how fun it would be to play a game or something, and then realizing that there wasnt enough people without Tina. I did well to hide it from Mom though, and pretended I was sleeping. :(

Steven had to spend some time helping a friend by running the fireworks stand at his job for him.. they will pay him some for it, so that will be nice. Although things arent as desperate as they were before the unemployment insurance kicked in. So we ate dinner wth out him.

The kids played with my parents and thier new toys. And Jasmin's egg donor mother showed her face. I wont bore you with my rantings about her again.. it's getting old, even for me. Im tired of hating her. Its more effort than she is worth. She did get Jasmin a cute outfit and an MP3 player. Although I think we will return that and let jas pick out something she can use. She already has a PSP that can do that, and the MP3 player seems lame beside that.

This afternoon we got busy and took down the decorations. We decorate so early that by Christmas day, I am more than ready to get the clutter put away and have a clean house to start the new year with. Steven thinks its a little scrooge-ish to want to take the tree down so fast. But with such a small place I need to be as clutter free as possible.

This week I will start at one end of the place and clean forward. I got the livingroom tackled mostly today. Ill have Steven reprganize the cds and dvds and I'll do some bigtime dusting. If I get REALLY ambitious we'll clean the livingroom rug with my Dad's steamer.. but with so many kiddos running in and out it may have to wait till later in the spring. If he is home we'll probably work on the yard some and even wash some windows. If I can talk Dad into getting his pressure washer fired up that is...Im not into a ladder and some windex thank you very much.
Its making me tired just thinking about it... off to bed.

i aint afriad of no food stamps

yay for south carolina food stamps


Thank god. South Carolina DSS finally came through with some food stamps. Some people might be ashamed to need some help.. but I figure, that's why it's there. I mean the REAL reason why it's there. To give a helping hand to a hard working family, that has had something lame happen... not to finance steak dinners for crack ho's in trailer parks. Id been fighting DSS to get everything taken care of.. they need everything from check stubbs to blood samples (not really.. but practically) But this morning when I checked my available balance it read. " A whole bunch of free money for food!"

So as soon as the tricycle motors were off to school we bundled up Dalton and went to Bi-lo. Somehow THIS kind of grocery shopping is funner than the other kind... I mean where you have to worry about having enough money to also pay the rent and get gas for bessie (our car).All you have to think about is making the green card stretch through the month. fun stuff.

I also found myself buying things I dont usually make allowances for... for example

a fresh pineapple- steven loves them.. but at $5 a pop I dont usually indulge him.

lemons- I love fresh lemon in my tea, iced and hot. but again.. a want not a need.

name brand chips- I know its basically the same thing.. but there is a HUGE price difference... but today? actual Doritos and Cape cod Kettle chips

Rye Bread- I dont like wonderbread.. or merita or whatever the gross stuffs name brand is here. GROSS!!! And since I am the only one who feels this way.. I usually dont eat sandwiches. But mmmm mmmm I had a turkey and swiss on rye bread for lunch today.. it was nearly heaven.

Im sorry Brian if there is to much food in this post.. but I was just so exited about having a full fridge and having so many options when it comes to cooking dinner tonight... wich by the way will be fettucini alfredo,salad, and french bread.

ho ho ho

Steven's stupid annoying low life scum waste of cellulite and skin ex wife came to Jasmin's Church contata this weekend.


I know, I know, You are thinking "wow, tell us how you really feel"


What the most awful thing about it all is, She hasnt seen Jasmin since JUNE. nearly 6 months. And then she only came for a few minutes. Saw the play and left before even talking to jasmin.(I saw her in the foyer and she screams across the hall "Tell my baybeee I love her" The only time the southern accent makes me want to hurl is when I hear it off her lips) No hugs, kisses... nothing. Jasmin played it off.. But it made me want to cry. Actually it made me want to kick her greasy headed, non childsupport paying butt. I could feel the MAMA rising in my thoat the whole evening, just knowing she was there and that Id promised not to call the sherrifs dept (there is a warrent for her.. she owes us over $5000 in back CS) I wanted to whack her with my pocketbook and scream at her..

"No!!!! I will NOT tell MY BABY... the baby you only borned from your nasty body that you love her.. BECAUSE IT IS A LIE."

But Im trying to be a christian. When I say that, I mean that I am a christian.. but I am trying to actually emulate christ. But even he got mad.. especially in defense of innocents.. BAH. its hard to do whats right.

In other news.. the kids did a fantastic job on the play. My girls were so pretty, and Jasmin did a fantastic job on her dramas and caitie was perfect.. looked like an angel. They were so pretty it made my heart hurt.

Today I made gingerbread men.. they are so cute. They started out with little faces, but they looked a little deranged. Little little brown freak men with red eyes and smeary smirks. So I licked...err wiped off the faces and made them faceless little brown freaks..

Id post pictures. but I promised Brian no more food pictures.

more baking

lemon white chocolate cashew cookies

This recipe kicks so many kinds of butt I cant even tell you... OMG it is SO yummy. It has everything in it that I love.. lemon, chocolate... cookie... mmmmm mmmmmmm

Lemon White Chocolate Nut Cookies

1 1/2 cups flour
3/4 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup white sugar
1 large egg
1 tbsp lemon juice
2 cups white chocolate chips
1 cup chopped cashews
1/2 cup cashew halves
1 tsp lemon zest

preheat oven to 375
cream butter and sugars
sift together dry ingredients
add agg and lemon juice
slowly add dry ingredients
add lemon zest, chocolate, and nuts

drop by spoonfuls onto greased cookie sheet. Bake 7 minutes or until golden brown.

Steven's Seven Things

Noramlly I wouldnt post emails from Steven.. but this made me smile. So here you go.


Seven Books I love:
Tony Stewart, In the Fast Lane
Chyna Biography
Lita Biography
Harry Potter
Hardy Boy Mysteries
Lowrider Magazine
Romeo & Juliet
Seven Movies I like:
Convoy
Biker Boys
Armageddon
Friday Series
Harry Potter
Fast & Furious
X-men
Seven things I say most often:
I'm hungry
You wantto
Damn
Jasmin, bring me something to drink
Dalton pick up the cookies
It's hot
Who put the butterball turkey in the bed with us! (LOL)
Seven Things Sexy about my mate:
Her Beautiful Smile
The way that she has taken Jasmin as her own
How she likes to take bubble baths
The way she cooks things even though she doesnt care for them
The way she pulls her covers up and snuggles in the bed while she is sleeping
Her eyes
The way she reads all the time
Seven Things I can (will) not do
Consturction work
Clean fish
Cook with out messing up alot of dishes
I will let u know when i find the rest
Seven Guilty Pleasures
Maccaroni and cheese
Zaxbys
LowRider Magazine
Sneaking "treats into the buggy when Michele grocery shops
text twist on YAHOO
NASCAR
Wrestling
Seven Things to do before i die:
Go to Alaska with Michele
Take a cruise
Go to Disney world as many times as possible
Travel over seas
Put my girls thru college
Have a Corvette
Make sure Michele has all she wants and needs

Seven Things

Our kids walk all over us.

The picture is just random funny.. but the following is something I saw on someone elses blog and thought it was fun.. if you read mine you gotta leave yours.

Seven Things

Seven Books I Love

1. "The Grapes of Wrath" Stienbeck
2. "Belladonna" Karen Moline
3. "The Belgariad" David Eddings
4. "The Little House Books" Laura Ingalls Wilder
5. "The Joy of Cooking" Various
6. "The Chronicles of Narnia" CS Lewis
7. "I know Why The Caged Bird Sings"

Seven Movies I Love

1. "My Life"
2. "The American President"
3. "Lilo and Stitch"
4. "For the Boys"
5. "Anne of Green Gables Series"
6. "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"
7. "Breakfast at Tiffany's"

Seven Things I Say Most Often

1. "Umm how 'bout No?"
2. "HOLY HELL!"
3. "No way Jose"
4. "You think?"
5. "Stupidhead"
6. "Dalton, we dont BITE!!!"
7. "hieneee!"

Seven Things Sexy About My Mate

1. Black hair, blue eyes. enough said
2. he lets me sleep in two days a week
3. he ignores me when I say nasty things under my breath about his ex and/or mother
4. He loves my daughter like his own.
6. he calls me "beautiful" every single day
7. he means it

Seven Things I can (will) not do

1. touch cornstarch
2. buy my children cell phones
3. eat "chitlings"
4. run unless something ugly is chasing me
5. wear spandex
6. learn a foriegn language
7. name a baby something outlandish

Seven Guilty Pleasures

1. Pork rinds
2. Martha Stewart
3. Italian musicians (DEAN MARTIN)
4. Bubble baths
5. Disney World
6. Almond lattes
7. Smoked salmon and cream cheese on bagels

Seven Things to do before I die

1. Travel to Morroco
2. trace my geneology
3. take my kids camping in Alaska
4. get my drivers license back
5. get the Gold level romantic Animal Lodge Disney vacation for a week with Steven
6. lose 150 lbs
7. see the autumn colors in new england

The Chronicles of Narnia

"When Adam's flesh and Adam's bone
Sits at Cair Paravel in throne,
the evil time will be over and done."


This weekend we took our girls to see "The Chronicles of Narnia" Steven's mom works for the company in town that owns our teeny little lame movie theatre.. so we can go for free, as long as we dont abuse it.
I have to say, this was possibly the best movie I have seen in a LONG LONG time. I was actually moved.. because I have read the stories since I was about 10? Because I recognize the allegorical themes? Probably a little of both.. and because of the amazing beauty of the film. It truly was very entertaining and moving. I cried.

I wish I could have had a picture of Thing 2 watching this film.. Her eyes were like saucers and she barely breathed... and amazingly as we discussed it afterward it was she who pointed out the biblical parallels. She understood the connection and was able to compare it perfectly... "Mommy", she said ' You know that boy was naughty,and aslan gave his life for him. Isnt that kind of like Jesus?" she is FIVE.

I was so proud.

Thing 1 was more caught up in the filmatic aspects and watching the effects. She loved the creatures and the fantasy. She kept pointing out that Peter was riding a unicorn. (and indeed he was.. amazing effects)

the first FIVE stars movie I have seen in some time.

its me

You are cordially invited to come see me sing in a scarf...

Sunday December 11,2005 6:00 pm
Dillon Church of God



I will however be wearing more than a scarf.. so those of you who were very exited for a moment, I apologize.

Seriously though, you are invited. The choir department in our church has been working very very hard, and after our rehersal today I am sure it will be a very moving and entertaining evening.

ha ha

"Chicken Blog" recipe

here chicken chicken chicken...

here is my recipe for Chicken Bog... I have only recently discovered that it is a local dish. I had no idea that only South Carolinians eat chicken bog. Everyone around here has thier own idea of what chicken bog should taste like.. here is mine

Chicken Bog Recipe

1 large chicken- removed as much skin as you can
1 large onion WHOLE. skin removed .
1 large pack of "yellow rice" its seasoned rice.
2 cups of long grain white rice
1 tsp garlic salt
1 tsp seasoned salt
1/4 tsp celery salt
1 TBSP black pepper (adjust to taste...we like a lot)
1 lb sausage ( I use hilshire farms kielbasa)cut into bitesize pieces

In your biggest stock pot place the chicken,the onion, the seasonings, and enough water to completely cover the chicken. Boil that sucker until its falling off the bones.. remember to add water as it evaporates. Remove the chicken and the onion (you can throw the onion out), DO NOT throw out the broth. Put the lid on the pot and refrigerate. Allow the broth to cool and the fat to glob up on the surface. Remove as much fat as you can.. You dont want greasy bog.Meanwhile remove the chicken from the bones and shred into manageable pieces.We call this "pickin the chickin".

Measure out 8 cups of chicken broth and bring to a boil. Add the yellow rice pack and the white rice. Allow to boil for 10 minutes. Add the shredded chicken and the sausage. Lower the heat and simmer until the rice is done.. It will have kind of a "gummy" texture.

Round here chicken bog is served with canned green beans, white bread and apple sauce, fried cornbread and black eyed peas. Sweet tea and 15 layer chocolate cake are not optional.

back in the saddle again

4 dozen cookies to send to Alaska


I am back in the Yule Tide saddle so to speak. I havent been much in the mood since Steven's sudden unemployment. But I am making myself get over it and act semi-normal (as normal as I can act anyway) Today I found an all Christmas all the time radio station (92.1 FM for those of you in this area) and baked 4 dozen cutout sugar cookies. Some to send to Alaska and our far away family (my baby sister and one of my favorite Aunts and her boys..and my coming niece.!)

I will add frosting to them later tonight.. and probably half of the day tommorow. I dont do fancy decorations, but they'll taste yummy...

This sunday is our choir's Christmas Contata "The Chirstmas Shoes" We had our first run through yesterday. It was a little scary. I admire our music director for his courage... and for his faith in us. The music part is going pretty well... we sound passable, but the logistics part is frightening. It was amusing yesterday to watch people who have little to no theatical experience try to understand why we were trucking in and out of the sanctuary. I'm sure that in the end everything will be ok... but its amusing nonetheless.

I have a friend who works at a hotel in Myrtle Beach as a night auditor. I am not aware of all of the details but sometime Saturday night some people came in and beat them with a pipe. My friend survived, but was left with some head damage. Can you say ouch? The carnage was caught on survellience video, so hopefully that will help the police catch them. If it were you, would you be able to go back to your job on third shift? I dunno.. although Id be scared scared scared. The job market is soooo bad, Id be more afraid of being unemployed... oh wait we ARE unemployed. I cant decide what is more scary!

Im chanelling Martha

"It's a Good Thing"

I have an idea for a business. I think it would work too.. in a bigger city, where more people had a brain... and some money. I got it while helping my Mom decorate and bake for Christmas since her foot is broken and she needs to be off of it.

Here is how it would work.. busy people would pay me to be thier assistant for a day. Want Granny's cookies at christmas time but your to busy to make them? Give me your recipe and I'll make them. Want your house to look like Martha lives there but you have to work all day? Give me a key and I'll come and decorate for you. Having a party and you need some help? Call me. I'll come and make it all pretty, and no one will know!

It'd be like the idea of hiring a personal assistant, but for only a day or an event.
God Im a genius. Now if only I lived in a big city! Id be rich.. or at least not in debt.

Anyway. Today we took the kids to the Lake View Christmas thingee.. they performed and did pretty good. The sound system (wich consisted of one of the Dads backing his Jeep up to the stage and opening the hatchback) wasnt great, But the kids in thier cowboy hats were adorable. Afterward we bought a litle present and went to visit Jasmin's great grandmother in the nursing home there in Lake View. I get my gold star for the week since this is Jaime's (steven's ex) Grandma. She is a sweet lady that is VERY lonely. SO I dont mind visiting her when we can. She was tickled to pieces with the little angel we brought and with seeing Jasmin.

Now, I am baking cookies for my mom to send to my sister in Alaska. I also finished decorating her house and cleaned up around here too.. laundry for sure!

anywho I am boiling chicken for some chicken bog, so I better go pick it.

Another Friday Nite....

Can people who dont have a job feed thier kids fast food for dinner? Even if its a friday night and its been the longest week in history? I think I am entitled to a little finger lickin chickin. Without having to cook it at all. So we did. To heck with the light bill... actually not, but it would be fun if we could huh?

We also took the kids to the parade in Latta. That's two parades in as many days. Dalton is going to think that people should walk down the street waving all the time. It was kinda fun. Definatly colder today than yesterday though. I did see these people that I used to work for. I kept thier kids one wierd disjointed summer. She was on maternity leave and they were home on and off, Its odd to babysit when the parents are at home. Anywho, my point is, when she had her baby I crocheted this awesome tommy the train blanket for the baby. AND he was wrapped in it when I saw them.. AND she says he carries it everywhere! Somehow that made me feel good... that the gift I made is a cherished item :)

Tommorow the girls are performing at Lake View's Christmas on the Blvd. It should be pretty darn cute. They are wearing cowboy hats (wich I had to look in three stores for) and jeans and doing this little country song. I cant wait.

So anywho.. I am going to make cocoa and help the kids decorate my mom's xmas tree. I might even fill up thier big garden tub and use my portable hot tub wanna be thingee. Steven calls it a "chicken in a pot" because you look like a boiling chicken. Maybe the hot water will help relax me... if not I always have all those pain killers I got from the ER.

ttfn

"Please Sir, Could I have some more?"

And the thunder rolls. I dont want to be a downer on anyone's holiday cheer... but things are sucking pretty bad around here.

Yesterday Steven and I went around and did all the "things" you do when you get totally sacked from a really decent job for no good reason. We sat in a creepy smokey unemployment office with all these wierd jobless people. FOR 3 HOURS! I had Dalton with me and I was afraid to put him down in fear he would contract... somthing gross.

We had planned to go to DSS and beg for some foodstamps, but by the time we got out of hell.. er the unemployment office they had begun thier daily afternoon siesta over there (Who, besides government workers gets a 2 hour lunch?) And Dalton was THROUGH with waiting in creepy humiliating offices.

So we took the boy home and let HIM enjoy HIS siesta. THEN THIS

I have been having some wierd girly problems. I wont go into detail for the sake of our male readers.. but I'll tell you something was/is not right. You know when you think to yourself. "Self, this cant be good."? I was there. I had been in pretty considerable pain since early monday.. and then the boobs over at Blanton decided to screw with my life and I decided to ignore it, and frankly I'd been doing a darn fine job of it. But yesterday afternoon things got REALLY odd.. and very painful when I bent over to pick up legos (Its my constant job, at any given time you could walk into my livingroom and find large duplo legos. At least one or two.) I got a shooting pain in my middle and it would not go away. It settled to a nasty achey thing...radiating from my middle and wandering around to my lower back and scooting down my left leg. but didnt get better.

By the time we got back from the teen wrangling rodeo (steven and I do security for our Youth ministry at church, and they are honestly like herding cows.. they wander from the herd and get lost in pairs in dark alleys) I was miserable. So miserable in fact I was willing to allow Steven to take me to the ER.. with (GASP!) no health insurance.

We went to Mcleod Regional in Florence. Frankly, the ER in Dillon scares the bejesus out of me.They cant be trusted.. whatsmore the wait was like 4 hours JUST TO BE TRIAGED! We didnt have to wait that long at Mcleod florence, Thank goodness. So anyway. Details aside I have a cyst on my left ovary and it is likey to disolve on its own in a few days. They loaded me up with pain killers (yay for percoset and valium!) and sent me on my merry way... at nearly 4 am.

I will tell one funny story though. I was laying in a puddle (not literaly, just feeling like one) on a very comfortable bed wrapped in warmed blankets and sipping my crushed ice and apple juice. I had been given some wonderful earth moving shot that was taking away all the pain AND helping to disvole my cyst. When the nurse came in and told me. "Dr HYMEN will be in to give you a pelvic exam in just a minute." She didnt even blink. I asked DR HYMEN? I snorted apple juice. If you dont understand why this is so funny, email me privately and I will explain it to you.

anyway, feeling much better today.. but I wonder.. what else?

Shock and Awe

Yesterday Steven lost his job. I am still in shock. One moment we were fine. Not richer certainly, by any means. But we were making it. And in a split second everything has changed. To be quite honest I dont know what we'll do.

He worked for a local builder's supply warehouse. For three years, with not a single complaint. Not anything, no warning. He got nothing but repeated promotions and raises.He had nearly perfect attendance.In fact he was promised a raise recently. Then suddenly yesterday he was let go for "poor work". Something is fishy... espcially since a family member was brought in creating a downward shift with other employees with more seniority on the very same day.

It seems espcially harsh, it being 3 weeks from Christmas and us having kids. Before now this just wasnt a company that would do something like this. It just doesnt make sense. Certainly has put me into a tailspin.

Weve warned Dalon's Mom that I may have to look for another situtation. My keeping him isnt very profitable. It was more a labor of love than a financial thing. But now knowing the local economy, I'll likely have to go to work. I hate the idea of sending Dalton to a daycare, but I have to think of my own family.

Thank God for my parents. I know that it will put them into more than a bind, but my Dad, like always is saying in his way "dont worry, I got this." I dont know how. Luckily our bills arent a lot in the scheme of things.. although at this point any cost at all seems daunting.

I'm scared.Everyone's first reaction has been "God will take care of you" or "Everything is going to be ok". Ive said it to others in my siutaion, but to be honest it doesnt help a bit.When what you really want to do is curl into a fetal position and rock. Im trying to rely on God, trust and rest in Him knowing that he is in control. It's much harder than it looks.

In Other News

My five year old is a follower. I am rather disapointed. Personally? I am/was a leader. I didnt follow fashion "rules" (Except pegged stoned washed jeans and BIG bangs in the 8th grade... but what can you do?) and I tend not care much about what others think of me. Caitlin however does. She is VERY concerned with what others think of her. For example. Yesterday she wore an old beat up cowboy hat of my sister's around the house all day long. It was adorable and she begged me to allow her to wear it to the christmas play practice she had to go to last evening. After much harrangig and begging I finally submitted and allowed her to wear the silly thing. She was very pleased with herself. UNTIL it came time to get out of the car. Last minute she lost her nerve and said "Taylor and Tori will think I am a dork." and with that the beloved hat was left in the backseat of the car. I am sad. Were it me? I might have wanted to carry along my broomstick horse.

In other news.. A funny thing happened at Walmart. Today I was in my natural habitat looking for some yarn to finish off yet another crochet project, when I noticed a woman. Short of stature, she was having difficulty reaching an item on an upper shelf. It being the holiday season, and me being tall of stature, I walk over and reach for her item. As I reach, in a friendly gesture I place my hand on her arm. Imagine my shock and horror as her ARM COMES OFF IN MY HAND. She had a prosthesis. And not a very good one at that. We just stood there looking at eachother. She in amusement at my horror and I in total shock. I completely lacked the proper ettiquite for this situation. Do I allow the arm to drop? Do I further assist her by attempting to re-attatch the arm? Thankfully at that exact moment Dalton who had been observing all of this from his spot in the buggy, noticed that he could reach a display of holiday cookie cutters and was launching them over his head and onto the floor. I love that kid.

The Season Begins

Yay. Today began officially the best time of year. I like fall, summer us fun. but I LOVE Christmas. I love to bake, shop, wrap and sing carols. I love the cold weather and the food. I like to make paper snowflakes and trim trees. I love family and chesy old television specials.YAY.

Yesterday I got out all of my christmas decorations and put them up.



Our Christmas Tree 2005

Today I also went shopping... and get this. I am DONE with buying presents for my daughters! That is the bulk of my shopping! I buy for others too.. but the hardest ones are finished, and I am really exited about my purchases. We got them some cool stuff. This is "the" year for Caitlin, the one where she will find the shiny new bicycle with a big red bow under the tree. I cant wait to see her face!Jasmin who is older will basically be able to place all of her presents into an envelope... she wanted games and dvd's for her PSP. (that she won at a church function) SO thats what she got.. as well as other grown up type items.. clothes and books. I was kind of sad bypassing the toy aisles when shopping for her. :( But I stillhave Caitlin, and I had almost tooo much fun playing and exploring all the dolls and toys at Walmart. To much fun.

This week I will begin baking. My mother usually does all of the traditional baking, but as she has a broken foot and is under strict Dr's orders to remain off of it. I am left with the gameball. AND I have to hurry since my baby sister will not be home for the holidays. Shipping to Alaska takes longer than most places.

That brings me to the only sad part of it all. It seems wierd without Tina. Believe me, I tried to bring her home... if only for Mom's sake. She is near depression knowing that the baby girl will not be home for Christmas. Normally I wouldnt admit it... but I am sad too. I miss her, and the Holidays will only magnify it. :( Oh well. It will make our planned trip to Alaska this spring all the sweeter.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving


I am thankful for...

my daughters
a home
our jobs that allow us more than we deserve
a family that is near
a free country

The list goes on and on. I want to wish everyone a wonderful and safe holiday. May your turkeys be moist, your pies be sweet and your buns be warm :)

Lord,
Protect all of those who are far from home protecting our freedom and the freedom of others. Send comfort to the loved ones at home and to those who have already paid the highest price.
Amen

In Memorial

Gunsite Mountain Alaska
Muriel Faye Marinelli 1943-1991
Louie B Marinelli 1941-1991

Grief, I think is the strangest of emotions. It ebbs and flows like a river, behaving almost of its own accord. Happiness? Fear? Sadness? Anger? These emtions I have some sense of control over. But grief? She does as she will.

Today is the 15th anniversary of the month my Granparents died. Nana on 25 October and Papa the night before Thanksgiving. Barely a month apart.On some days it seems like a long long time ago. The memories are faint and there is only the meloncholy emptiness that exists when you miss someone. But on other days, the memories are sharp and raw like a sunburn. I can relive every single detail of the days and those that followed if I allow myself.

My Nana died first, from complications from Emphysema. We expected it. We knew the end was near and we made our goodbyes.We were as ready as you can be to lose someone you love. Sometimes I get scared when I think that I have forgotten the sound of her voice, all scratchy from years of smoking or the way she laughed, or how she walked with a little waddle. Sometimes I am in a store and I will hear someone a few aisles over cough a raspy smokers cough and I remember being lost from her in a grocery store when I was a kid, and only having to listen for her distinctive cough.I miss her, but usually only when I reach a milestone, or badly need her advice.

My Papa is a different story. He died unexpectedly from a masive heart attack in the Costco parking lot. Honestly, at the time it seemed impossible that we should have to endure it so soon after losing Nana. I thought he was well, but looking back, he'd probably been ill for some time, remaining strong to care for Nana, and us as we grieved her. The pain from him dying is still sick in my stomach even after all this time.

I have a reoccuring dream about him. I rears its ugly head at this time of year and sometimes for no apparent reason at all. We are in Italy (my Papa was 100% Italian) in the countryside. (I am not sure why we are there, we were never there together, I am not even aware if he ever went to Italy himself at all.) There is a parochial school on the side of a mountain and it is full of children. It is raining hard and there is a sudden mudslide and my Papa and I are bringing armload after armoload of children out of the threatened school when it is overtaken by the mud.The children are all safe, but I am lost from my Grandfather and I am forever looking for him in the swirling mud and debris. I always wake up sweaty and in tears.

I have read book after book about dreams and interpeting them, but nothing even begins to explain it. The only theme that matches it is "rescue". My Papa is not my biological Grandfather, but my mother's stepdad, who married my Grandma after she divorced my Mother's father.Some books suggest I feel like he "rescued" my family. And the fact that he is lost from me in the mud that I am still grieving his death.
It still confuses me though.

Papa

The sound of your voice still rings in the closets of my ears
and the smell of your hugs still lingers in the deepest part of my nose.
Regret binds me to your loss and chases me in my dreams.
I wonder, would who I have become make you proud?
would you see your fingerprints on my life and be glad?

soup recipe

Here is the recipe for the soup I took to church sunday. It makes a LOT so get a spoon!

Southern style Minestrone

one chicken skin removed
one large can of crushed tomatoes
one small can of diced tomatoes with jalepenos
one small can spinach
one small can white Northern beans
one bag of frozen gumbo veggies (okra, corn,onion,celery,red pepper)
one package smoked sausage
one lb rotini noodles uncooked
2 tsp garlic salt
2 tsp seasoning salt
2 tsp crushed red pepper flakes
4 cups water

In a large stock pot place the chicken and enough water to cover. Add seasonings and boil until meat falls apart

remove bones from chicken and return to stock.
Add 4 cups water.
Add all canned veggies, do not strain out water
add noodles
add sausage
simmer for a long time on low or until the noodles are cooked soft... I took a nap while it cooked

Tastes pretty darn good.

Thing 2 and the bride

caitie and the bride

Time Flies (LONG!)

Time is going by sooo fast. I cant believe that I am blogging ANOTHER weekend!

We had a VERY busy weekend. As most of you know we have been preparing for the wedding of Tiffany and Jamie (The little mans's parents.) The past few weeks have been full of all the little details that make weddings stressful.For me, that meant addressing the invitations (I can do calligraphy.) Decorating the programs (punching holes and tying ribbons on 100 programs)and making 400 peanutbutter balls.

Friday evening was the rehearsal and was full of the usual madness and disoragnization.But thankfully it only lasted 2 hours. Almost one whole hour was wasted waiting for someone who was LATE. (grr)After we rehearsed the wedding and Thing 2 as flower girl did her adorable stuff we went for dinner as a group to B&C Steakhouse.As someone who enjoys side dishes more than the actual main course this was the place for me. The side dishes there are fantastic.. but the main courses (chicken,meatloaf or porkchops) werent that great. But we had a nice evening and no one was fighting, and since this was a family affiar that was encouraging.

Afterward on our way home we came upon an accident scene. It happened right in front of us.One car t-boned another as it made its way through an intersection. As someone with a medical license (I have a medical assistant license and an advanced cpr license that is registered with the Dillon County emt as an advanced responder, my number is listed as a volunteer reponder should a major incident occur. I could take it a step further and become a volunteer emt, but since I dont drive, that could be hard) I am always leary of assisting at accident scenes when we come upon them, and it happens more than you would think. Reasons being.

#1. Once providing care for anyone on the scene I am not released to leave until the first EMT on scene clears me to leave, wich can take a long time, usually after all MPI are removed from the scene.
#2. If anything were to happen, (like someone I am working on DIES) I could be held responsible by the persons family, and I dont have insurance like the emt would..
#3. I am usually reposnible to make a report to the police.

However I usually try to help if I can. This time no one was hurt very badly, just scared mostly. I was able to secure the passengers in one car and gave the report to the emts when they arrived. Its a rush, and makes me want to get certified as an emt or finish my nursing degree or something. I DO have to remember to get some gloves and leave them in the car, because after leaving I found I had blood all over my hands... wich in this day and times isnt a good idea.

Saturday was a busy morning and 1:00 came very quickly. It was my job to wrangle Dalton and to help where ever I could help. I ended up spending the better part of an hour trying to wrestle an angry Little man into a tuxedo and try to keep him from tearing the place apart.It was like trying to dress an angry squid. He suddenly had 12 arms and 25 legs. He did a move I can only associate with a wet noodle and refused to be cajoled into any sense of cooperation whatsoever. I ran chasing him down the hall bow tie and left sock and shoe in hand, much to the delight and amusement of all onlookers.
The Little Man, who had been under the care of his father that morning was unusally surley. I was not aware, but someone had neglected to feed the poor child any lunch. It was now 3 pm and the wedding was ready to begin. But Dalton, who had been harrassed and squished into a full tuxedo was not in any mood for ringbearing duties or anything else other than throwing himself on the floor and screaming. Wich he did to the delight of the photographer. (Im sure he'll love THOSE pictures when he is 16!)
Finally after being bribed with promises of cookies and all manner of other treats he walked in his silly little boy gait down the aisle promptly handed his decorated pillow to Thing 1 who sat about midway down the aisle and was the delight of the whole wedding party when he ran haphazardly about the stage, even allowing the minister to remove him from the stairs behind him.

Thing 2 was picture perfect as a flowergirl. She took her duties very seriously and stood picture still through the entire sevice. I was so proud. whatsmore she was SO cute :)I'll post some pics as soon as I find the digital camera.

Sunday was quiet. I skipped am service since my back was killing me from to much detail work the week before. I made a huge pot of soup to take to the church supper. It was nice. We sat with Aunt Allie and her kids and talked about thanksgiving plans.

Yay for monday! Im beat!

100 things about me

100 things about me

1. I once ate whale blubber
2. I hate sand
3. I have a mole on my tummy that looks like a frog
4. I love lavender roses.
5. I can spell almost any word...go ahead try me
6. I don't drive
7. Ive been married twice to the same man.
8. I was born near Seattle Washington.
9. I was student body vice president of the University I went to.
10. I hate all things powdery
11. I have a lazy eye.
12. I have been to Greece.
13. I do not have any living Grandparents
14. I love to eat California rolls
15. I once worked as a sux chef for a famous chef in Alaska.
16. I never dated a civilian until I was 23
17. I am afraid of the dentist.
18. I have one gigantic earlobe... the other one is "normal"
19. I was in labor with my daughter for over 24 hours.
20. I think raw cookie dough is gross.
21. I went to an alternative high school.
22. I have 47 first cousins. (I counted).
23. I love everything about Christmas.
24. I can memorize things easily.
25. I know how to roast coffee beans.
26. I have had the same best friend for over 20 years.
27. I like dark chocolate the best.
28. I love bookstores.
29. I cant do math.
30. I love Thai iced tea.
31. I have been a bridesmaid 5 times.
32. I hate being late.. and people who are habitually late.
33. I love eating at "The Melting Pot"
34. I am allergic to codeine and doxycycline.
35. I have been to Italy.
36. I almost died in Mexico once.
37. I own a Chinese pug.
38. I once passed out in a traffic median at the airport in Budapest Hungary.
39. I rode my first roller coaster ever when I was 28.
40. I dropped out of bible school.
41. I almost joined the airforce once, but I didn't feel like losing that much weight.
42. I was on the toilet when the plane I was on landed once.
43. I have been to the most northern point in the united states.
44. I hate over ripe fruit.
45. I have been to the Vatican.
46. I like reality TV.
47. I know how to do advanced CPR.
48. I hate skiing.
49. I spent 20 years in Alaska.
50. I have had mono.
51. I have been in a bar fight.
52. I can sing passably well.
53. I have spoken on the senate floor in Juneau Alaska.
54. I have touched a moose.
55. I have never seen a picture of one of my grandfathers.
56. I have never been arrested.
57. I can make really really good soup.
58. I once applied to be on CBS's "Big Brother"
59. I think my father is handsome.
60. I once had to take the dentures out of a dead woman's mouth.
61. I gag when I brush my teeth.
62. I have spent the night in a Romanian orphanage.
63. I have drank beer in Germany.
64. I once met Chuck Norris.
65. I have almost no toenail on my left pinkie toe.
66. I have ridden in an ambulance.
67. I was the top seller for 6 months in a row at Harbor Freight Tools.
68. I cry when I watch "Armageddon" every single time.
69. I met my husband online.
70. I have eaten cow stomach soup.
71. I had read the bible cover to cover by the time I was 12.
72. I like to wake up in the middle of the night ... just so I can go back to sleep.
73. I love to eat warm French bread and cheese.
74. I have driven across the country 3 times.
75. I hate my husbands ex wife.
76. I like coffee.
77. I had one of my recipes published on allrecipes.com
78. I prefer Pepsi to coke.
79. I can read really fast.
80. I hate the smell of fried eggs.
81. I love history books
82. I like to crochet, but I hate to knit.
83. I have been to Disney World twice. And Ill probably go as often as I can.
84. I have touched a live squid.
85. I have seen the Aurora Borealis.
86. I can draw quite well.
87. I once served coffee to the Lt. Governor of Alaska.
88. I saw the local TV news weather man at Walmart today.
89. I wear flip flops all year round.
90. I have competed in Ballroom dance.
91. I love the smell of diesel exhaust.
92. I have had a cold on the same day (Christmas Day) for 3 years running.
93. I have ridden a horse on the beach in Mexico.
94. I like red apples, but not green ones.
95. I put lemon in my Pepsi.
96. I hate pantyhose.
97. I hate almost all boiled food.
98. I once rode a ski lift to the top of a mountain and was too afraid to ski down.
99. I have hairy toes.
100. I love winter.

God Bless the Broken Road

Rascal Flatts - Bless The Broken Road
I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I dont usually wax sentimental or mushy.. but today I was thinking about my husband. We both came a long way to find eachother.. me from Alaska and from bad relationship after bad relationship. He from a terrible marriage and a broken heart. We met online after he responded to a personal add I was forced to place after losing a bet. I was seeing someone, an older guy (40 in fact!) and not going anywhere. He bought a computer and was browsing online and found my add. I had placed it under "Florence" lying to conceal my identity in a small town.We chatted and found that we had so much in common we decided to meet, only to find that we lived a few blocks from one another.It took us only one date to know that we had found what we were looking for in all the wrong places.

For reasons Ill never know, He is so good to me. He calls me "beautiful" out of habit, and compliments my appearance, even though Im sure that my "domestic technician" outfits are less than sexy.He loves me nearly unconditionaly (no one loves us COMPLETELY unconditionaly except the Lord)He allows my travel adiction and even puts up with bianual trips to Disney World when he doesnt like thrill rides.He works very hard every single day... and loves that I can be home with our kids.

This week I managed to bounce 4 checks. Yup count em! FOUR! The bank paisd them thankfully, but charges $30 a pop that meant $120 in bank fees. putting us into debt when we have worked all year not to acrue any more debt than we already had.He was MAD, but didnt yell or want to fight over it. He just shrugged and said "its just money, I know you didnt mean to, we'l figure it out." I didnt know how to handle it.(I secretly wondered what he had done that allowed me such a screw up!) How wonderful was that?

I love that man of mine. Just wanted to speak it.

Spaghetti Sauce recipe

This is a great recipe that tastes good on any kind of pasta. We like the store brands.. but I use this when I am feeling ambitious.

One large can crushed tomatos
one medium can stewed tomatos "italian stle"
1 tiny can tomato paste
1 lb sweet italian sausage browned and drained
2 tsp olive EVOO
1 cup wine (red or white works, whatever you have hanging around ya drunk!)
1 medium onion diced VERY small
3 cloves of garlic minced (adjust to taste)
1 tsp crushed red pepper (adjust to taste)
1 tsp salt
1 tsp sugar
2 tsp "italian seasoning"
1 lb sliced mushrooms

black olives, sliced zuchinni or whatever other yummy veggies you can sneak by your family.

ON high preheat a pan and add evoo and heat until its hot. Add garlic and onion. Cook until the onion turns a light golden brown. DO NOT burn the garlic. It will be bitter. Next add the mushrooms sautee until soft. When the mushrooms are done slowly add the wine and using a wooden spoon get all the little pieces off the bottom. Add the salt, sugar, italian seasoning and crushed red pepper.

Dump in the tomatoes and stir in the paste. Next slowly add the italian sausage a little at a time Turn the pot down to the lowest level ou can on your stove and simmer until dinner time... the flavors will only get better and better with time. Sometimes I make it one day and let it set in the frige overnight and then simmer it all day the day I plan to serve it. YUMMY.

"The Red Violin " Movie Review

Sorry I missed the weekend's dinner menus Shannon.. I didnt cook much outside fo the "chick food" from the shower. In fact we ate out friday, saturday we had leftovers and last night I ate with my parents and steven and the kids had hotdogs after church. Tonight's Dinner menu- Spaghetti (semi homemade sauce I'll post the recipe for you) French bread and green beans.


The Red Violin- Samuel L. Jackson, Carlo Cecchi, Irene Graziola

The Red Violin follows the life of a red violin (duh) over three hundred years, and chronicles the stories of the people that it encounters.

At the beginning of the film, the wife of an Italian violin maker, pregnant with their child, goes to get her fortune read. She doesn't realize that the fortune is not hers, but he violin's. As time moves on, the violin travels to an orphage in Vienna, a concert house in England, China in the midst of the Cultural Revolution, and to a present day auction house in Montreal. The settings are varied and the cinematography is gorgeous.Each story is intercut with a little bit of Jackson in the present day, and as more of the violin's life is revealed, more of Jackson's story is also told.

I LOVED this movie. I personally love foriegn films and always like subtitles since my hearing isnt very good. I always have trouble with accents. I will warn you
there were some pretty racy scenes in the middle of the movie.. even some female nudity. BUT even though they were outright sex scenes they werent tooo raunchy, and they reenforced the idea the affliction of the holder of the violin. I wont go into it to vividly, but there is a scene where this virtuoso is making love to his wife WHILE he plays the violin.. the images were SO sexy without being crude or dirty.

I give this about 4 out of 5 stars.. great movie.. artsy and beautiful with a good plot.

Im going to be an AUNTIE!!!

Im gonna be an AUNTIE!!


OK.. so not officially. My mom and my aunt raised thier kids together, litterally in the same house at times.So,my sister and I and my two cousins Josh and Joe are very close. Just as close as any siblings would be. Joshua is 4 years younger than me and Joe 18 months younger than he.
In my wild days Joshua was my partner in crime, my drinking buddy, and my confidant. He was the first to know that I was pregnant with Caitie andhas always been the one person in my family that understood me the best.
NOW he and his girlfriend are expecting a baby girl in the spring.I cant wait. I have nieces through my husband. But they are older and remember his exwife as thier aunt... I cannot wait to spoil this little girl! YAHOOO!
I am really hoping that my hunny and I will be able to save enough money for me to get to go up to Alaska around the time she will be born.

In other news, the bridal shower went pretty well. The food was good anyway. Tiffany's family is kind of wierd.. they are like jealous little girls. They fight over the spotlight and it was odd. She got some good loot though... makes me wanna get married again just for the loot!

Pretty quiet saturday otherwise. My mom fell a few weeks ago injuring her foot and never did go get it xrayed. Friday she finally did since it was still hurting after weeks of pain.. and unfortunatly it is broken. So we were harassing her abou thaving to wear a "sexy" cast and walk with a walker. Caitie is very worried about this. She gets odd when my parents are sick. It really bothers her and she clings to them.. so she is spending the night there tonight.

thats about it.

Happy Birthday Thing 1!!

Happy Birthday Thing 1!

Pastafarians and flying spaghetti

What next???

I have a friend that I enjoy battling with over religous issues.. and this is what we have been talking about. I have been highly ammused by reading the many many numerous websites about "Pastafarianism", serving the "Great Spaghetti Monster" and all manner of other nonsense. However it does call one to think deeply about Faith, why we do what we do, who we are and why. In a phrase? I have WAY to much time on my hands. Let me tell you all about it.

In June 2005, Bobby Henderson submitted an open letter to the Kansas Board of Education in response to their scheduling a hearing debating whether to give intelligent design equal time with evolution by natural selection in biology classes.

His postion was that since God, creation and the idea of intelligent design was in his opinion someones idea of the truth,he would submit his personaly created "faith"
nd expect equal classroom time.. he even threatens legal action. Smart smart guy... too bad hes not on MY side huh? Lets hope that our courts have the sense (and the
constitutional backing) to stop it. Here is some of what he "believes".

An invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe, starting with a mountain,a tree,and a "midgit". All evidence pointing towards evolution being intentionally planted by this "being".

Global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct consequence of the decline in numbers of pirates since the 1800s. A graph showing the inverse correlation between the pirates and global temperatures was also provided. This component of the theory highlights the logical fallacy of correlation implying causation.

It is disrespectful to teach their beliefs without wearing "His" chosen outfit, full pirate regalia.

The monster continues to guide human affairs with his "noodly appendage".

Prayers to "Him" are typically ended by "Ramen", instead of "Amen".

Heaven has a stripper factory and a beer volcano.

Every Friday is a religious holiday.

This is an except from the "word of the spaghetti"

"Yes, I have conceived the spirit of our Divine Lord, and immaculately, I might add. He came upon me while I was eating alone at The Olive Garden one evening this past winter--I was having a delicious meatball lasagna, I remember--and suddenly my eyes were filled with light, and the restaurant around me fell away, and there was nothing but His noodly appendage encircling me, caressing me. I cried out in ecstasy, and then I heard His voice in my ear, whispering to me, "In nine months time you shall give birth to a fully-grown midgit in pirate regalia, and He shall save the world from sin and hate and false notions about evolution and Creation."

I heard singing, and tomato sauce rained from the sky, and I saw angel hair pasta flying about with little farfalle wings and playing harps. It was beautiful. "You shall name Him...."Macaroni"...." said the Flying Spaghetti Monster, "and He shall bring in a new era of love and a worldwide following of Pastafarians willing to shed marinara sauce for what they believe."

And His noodly appendage left my trembling, sated body, and the singing faded, and I was once again in The Olive Garden, awaiting the birth of our Savior, Prego, who will deliver us from evil. I paid the check and went home and prayed all night to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. So fear not! If Kansas refuses to include our religion in their science curriculum--imagine, survival of the fittest, ha! it is survival of the noodliest, any devout Pastafarian knows that--Prego shall smite those heathens and burn Kansas for all eternity. Ramen!

Makes you wonder if they think that the recent "carb revolution" had something to do with persecution? ha ha

hope you have a very... noodley.. er BLESSED day ;)

Diary of a Mad Black Woman Movie review ect

my little man

This is dalton.. he is my little companion. Isnt this picture just toooo cute? I was dying from his cuteness and had to share the love.

Tonights dinner menu- Hamburger Helper Cheesburger Macaroni, red jello with pears in it, collard greens

Diary of a Mad Black Woman- Tyler Perry, Shammar Moore, Kimberly Elise

This movie was just ok... Friends had given it rave reviews... I dont see what the fuss was about? There are a few good scenes.It was passable as friday night entertainment from Netflix, but id have been sad if Id seen it in the theater.
The message was good.. just ok... and I really thought that things got a little bizer after helen threw her husband in the tub. Wierd wierd wierd.

Shower preparation

Tonights Dinner Menu- Tuna Noodle Casserole with Grean Peas, Green salad Cheesy French Bread

I am throwing my friend Tiffany a bridal shower. The guy she is marrying hasnt always been very nice to her.. and I am a little worried about thier future. Along with every one else in her life. But I couldnt stand the thought of her not having a bridal shower.So that will be keeping me very very busy this week. I am doing all of the cooking myself. This is the first time I have done anything like this for people here in SC. In Alaska I was always throwing little parties and threw a shower for my cousin, and several friends when they either had babies or got married... still I cant help feeling a little nervous.

This is my menu

chicken swiss wreaths
artichoke dip with crudite
mexican layer dip with tortilla chips
pina colada cupcakes
chocolate cupcakes
sangria style punch

Im not planning to much as far as games.. just going to have her fiance fill out a questionaire and she has to answer the same questions we asked him, for every question she gets wrong she has to put a piece of gum in her mouth... usually turns out pretty funny.. it did when I did it at my shower. Maybe one more with a prize for the guests.. we'll see if I can think of anything. Anyone have any ideas?

weekend news

From now on I will be posting my dinner menu for the day as I usually blog daily... a friend requested this so she could get ideas for her new little family (she is a new wife and soon to be mama congrats Shannon!) I dont find anything I do tooo inventive or exiting, but you asked.. so your wish is my command. If there is an unusual or fun recipe or something I think might need explaining Ill post it separately. :)

Tonights Dinner

Marinated Roasted Chicken, Cheesy corn casserole, tomatoes and rice, green beans.

weekend news

I have discovered what I think may save my relationship with my soon to be teenaged stepdaughter.We have been having clothing "discussions". She is now at an age where clthing designers and labels are begining to matter to her.. I discovered this the other day when I found her clipping the "Wally-world" brand name off of her jeans. When I inquired as to why she was doing this (the fact that she was trying to do this WITH THE JEANS ON HER BODY may have been the reason I noticed her in the first place.. what do you think?)She replied that she didnt want everyone to know she wore "Brand X super saver Jeans"

I inwardly groaned. I am not so old that I dont remember DESPARATLY wanting a pair of purple, stonewashed, tapered "Jordache jeans"... and having to wear "HUSKY GIRL" dark blue, weatern cut jeans from Sears. Jordache just didnt make clothes in "HUSKY" size. Whatsmore, even if they had my mother wouldnt have been dumb enough to spend $60 on a pair of jeans I'd have eaten my way out of in a half hour.

I am sympathetic to her. I probably WOULD buy Lei or whatever brand jeans that she would find more acceptable.. If we could afford it. We live in a much "chunkier" world than we did when I was 11. There are WAY more cute clothes available to the above average sized child. But I dont believe in going into debt to buy school clothes or christmas presents.. and there was no way I could buy them

UNTIL NOW

I have discovered Rugged Wearhouse. They are located in Florence in the same strip mall with Books A Millon. They have brand name seconds... literally every major brand name that youd find at Belk or BC Moores.. just at Wally-world prices! I was tickled pink. For her birthday I bought her a pair of LEI jeans, 2 sweaters, a DKNY top, and a long sleeved polo for (drumroll please!) $30!!! They ARE seconds.. some have flaws or are just an unpopular style. But if you are patient and shop carefully you can get some fantastic deals YAY ME!

AS far as the rest of the weekend it was pretty normal. Met friends for dinner at IHOP. They have a really fantastic salad menu there. I had a spinach club.. very tasty. Chicken strips, bacon, tomato, cucumber,and baby spinach. Before you applaud my healthy food choice I will admit I ate Steven's pancakes. :)
And then we went to chat at Books a Million and swill coffee. Steven tried a Fruit Smoothie and had a "pear" I was very enjoyable (I always eat and drink what he ordered.. we co-eat. It works very well. He eats what I leave and I taste his food to make sure its enjoyable before he tries it)

anywho.. gotta get these kiddos fed and into bed.

another week.... ya stinking hoo

me

uhoh an alien in my house!

My babies

us on our day

sticky wings

As promised here is the recipe that I am using for tonights dinner. We love these. I make a big pot of mac and cheese and call them dinner. I made this recipe up when my brother in law made some passably good wings one night...trying to copy KFC honey bbq wings when they stopped carrying them for a while, I knew I could do better... and I did :) It seems like a lot of trouble to fry the wings first and I soppose you could bake them or boil them... but rememeber, a lot of great cooking is about layering flavors. And who doesnt like fried chicken???

Sticky Wings

A whole mess of chicken wings. - "Party Wings" they sell them already separated and frozen individually. They are perfect for this recipe.. sometimes you can catch them on sale for as low as 69 cents a pound like I did yesterday at Blackmon's! I always rinse chicken off after I thaw it.

seasoned salt
garlic salt
black pepper
onion powder
2-3 cups of flour
cooking oil

adjust this to the amount of wings you are making. But dont make them tooo salty! remember youre still adding sauce!

Put your wings in a really big bowl that has a lid. sprinkle with the slats and the pepper. Toss well so they all get some. Sprinkle with the flour. Now, close the lid on the bowl. Shake the bowl really hard (hang on to the lid..you dont want to know how hard it is to clean up flour thats been launched all over your kitchen from a loose bowl lid flying off) Really shake it, get out some aggression and really cover those wings with the flour.

refrigerate for at least one hour. I throw them in the fridge midmorning and let em marinate all day.

When you pull the wings out theyll be all gooey in the bowl.. its ok. It makes the breading stick good.

Pour the oil in a big pan, dont be shy. no one said this was a low fat recipe. Heat the pan till a drop of water dripped in sizzles. Drop your wings in a few at a time. Dont do to many because the temperature of the oil needs to stay hot.. otherwise youll have grease-bomb wings and not crispy ones. Fry those babies until they are nice and golden brown.. not to long otherwise theyll get tough in the oven later. Drain well (lay down a layer of newspaper first, then some papertowells... itll really suck up that oil) You can eat em just like this.. its fried chicken, but I take em a step higher in the yummy dimension

Separate into three oven safe pans with decent depth.

Sauces

I make up my sauces and then put what I dont use into the empty bottle and it keeps for a while...obviously there arent any diabetics in my house.. but if I make it for my dad I'll just buy a sauce that is already honey flavored...he shouldnt have bbq sauce at all. But ya gotta live still.

BBQ
1 bottle of your favorite BBQ sauce (we like Kraft or Bullseye.. whatevers on sale really)
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
1 tsp garlic powder
1/2 cup honey

just mix it all together *hint if you spray your measuring cup with "pam" before you measure the honey itll slide right out of there.

Teriaki
1 bottle terriaki sauce (yoshidas from Sams club is YUMMY)
1 can crushed pineapple juice included
1/2 cup dark brown sugar

just mix it all together in no particular order

Buffalo
1/2 bottle of hot sauce (Frank's has good flavor without torching your tounge)
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter
1 tsp garlic salt

in a sauce pan slowly melt butter on med heat, add the garlic salt and lastly the hot sauce. With a wisk mix until combined... takes a long while and still wont really imulsify...I guess youd need a blender for that, but thats to much trouble.

Pour one sauce over the wings in one pan. Toss really well. Dont want no nekkid wings.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Bake wings for about 30-45 minutes watching carefully so all that sugar doesnt burn.

Serve the buffalo wings with ranch or bleu cheese dressing.. and a big pile of napkins.

I get major honey points from my husband when I make these!!

the weekend.

Not to much happening today. I am glad its friday though. We are weaning Dalton off of his morning nap.. the kid is almost two. I dont know of one single other baby his age that STILL takes TWO naps a day! Not to mention sleeps through the night.. what a lazy tail! Unfortunatly no morning nap for him makes for a LONG morning. BUT a short afternoon since he sleeps from 12-3.

We dont have a lot planned for the weekend. No adventures (no money for them this week lol )just normal stuff. I am makig bbq chicken wings for dinner tonight (I'll post the recipe) and the last 5th quarter for the youth group is tonight. Im glad to see them ending.. 1 am is late for me anymore. "Overtimes" will be starting soon.. after basketball games, but they are from 8-10 and not so late.

I am planning to scrub my bathroom from top to bottom totally spic and spam (Yes, I know the phrase is "spic and span" but the chic on NCIS said it that way this week and I find it ammusing.) and maybe the walls and windows in my kitchen they are nasty. Steven has to work saturday morning and we'll have to run errands and take the girls to see thier grandparents. I have "I, Robot" and "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" from netflix home this weekend so we can watch movies too.

We are sopposed to meet friends in Florence for dinner on saturday night, but that will depend on whether or not I can manage to convince someone to watch the curtain climbers. Two nights in a row is a lot for mom and dad.. and Steven's parents just dont offer. If I am lucky my cousin Tammy will invite them to spend the night tonight and then Mom and Dad will watch them tonight or vice-versa.

Movie review "Finding Neverland"

Now that I have recieved my first netflix movies.. I will be writing little mini-reviews for your reading enjoyment. I know youll be SO glad!

Finding Neverland -Johnny Depp, Kate Winslett, Dustin Hoffman

OOooo this was a good movie. This is the story of the writing of JM Barrie's "Peter Pan". And the love story involved. I dont usually like romances.. sticky gooey ones that is. But this was so well written... and really wasnt so concentrated on the moosh. It folled Mr Barrie and his friendship with 4 boys as they grieve for thier dead father and one magical summer... in the midst of it you know He is falling in love with thier mother, but its so subtle that you are surprised by it in the end.
Johnny Depp is HOT HOT HOT as usual. I love the Scottish accent he puts on in this film.. unfortunatly I just couldnt get Captain Jack Sparrow ( Pirates of the Carribean) out of my head. I kept expecting him to become a corpse or something.
Kate Winslett was gorgeous.. a typical english rose and played a wonderful part.
I did not however like Dustin Hoffman in this role... he played Mr Barrie's benefactor and play producer who had this phantom english accent that came and went at will.. REALLY annoying.
However it wasnt annoying enough to detract from this beutiful movie.
All in all 4 stars!

Miss Mildred Found

Oooo I forgot to post.. Miss Mildred was found. Safe and sound.. thank goodness. She was back in the third row this week. Her son took her to see her sister in stinkypoodle georgia or someplace.. as for poor fluffy? No one knows why she left her to fend for herself.

Glad to see that granny is safe and sound though!

halloween, conflict, and blogs in general

Halloween was so fun. Caitlin ended up dressing as the most adorable cat.. and Jasmin looked all to grown up as a princess. probably her last year dressing up :( We trick or treated in nearby Latta and then hit all the usual suspects here in Dillon. They got a huge cache of candy and we got to see my brother in law and my nieces wich we havent seen in weeks and weeks. AND my kids finally conqured the big red house... there is a family in town that takes Halloween VERY seriously and decorates and dresses up and their house is SCARY. Creepy music and guys that jump out at you from dark bushes and all. Every year they both begged to go to the house only to chicken out by the time we got out of the car... but no more! This year both girls, while a little knock kneed and shakey.. managed to make it to the door retrieve thier candy and high tale it out of there without bursting into tears. My babies are growing up!

Today after school Im sure the trading will get intense, My cousins little girl (who's parents I am begining to suspect of supplementing the trick or treat candy with store bought... NO one gets THAT much candy) will be here and has promissed much good trade :). Caitlin is still learning the concept of TRADE.. not rape and pilage. Jasmin has been so patient to teach her.. and in my opinion allows herslef to be taken to the bank... either that or she is a terrible trader and will NOT be my shopping buddy in a mexican bazar!

****We interupt your normally scheduled programing for this rant.*****

I have learned FINALLY a very valuable lesson. From this day forward I will NOT argue with Steven in the pressence of my mother. She will every time take his side. No matter what I am wrong. She says she is playing devils advocate? BULL POOOP. Im tired of it. Last night I made potato soup before we left to go trick or treating.. and put vegetables in it. I am aware that my husband does not eat them.. but my children are learning to and need them to be healthy little soldiers. He made some terrible comment about him not eating the soup because it was CRAP... I of course was hurt and angry. It literally took me hours to make it.. between the peeling, the chopping, the frying and the simmering... If he wants to stay home and cook all day LET HIM. My feelings were damaged. I would have been over it very quickly. HOWEVER my mother HAD to make a comment and make ME the bad guy responsible for HIM hurting my feelings. To the effect of "You should know better". Shouldnt she be taking MY side? Arent I her DAUGHTER? He hurt ME. He was mean to ME. I am over the actual situation now.. but the lesson was sharp.

I didnt think Id have to go here.. but here it is. I write this blog as an outlet and as a commentary on my life.MY interpetation of MY life. Kind of like a diary.. only more public. I say what I am feeling and thinking about. I dont feel that I am mean spirited nor do I divulge super private things. I dont name names and I dont list addresses. If you are offended by something I say..Im not sorry. If you dont want to know what I think.. dont read.

*** now back to your regularly scheduled programing.****

According to the website, my first netflix movies should be here either today or in the next few days... Hooray.. maybe this afternoon Ill be watching Finding Neverland or something equally as interesting.. one can only watch the Harry Potter movies so many times.

babies, netflix and halloween

Not very inspiring or deep today.. but heres what I am thinking about.

My stupid cousin is pregnant. She has one kid already. She is the devil (the kid not the cousin) She doesnt have a man... well she did (obviously) but they broke up. She doesnt have a job. She doesnt take care of herself... or the kid she already she has. She moved all her junk to Pennsylvania last month and then in three weeks decided that even though she had no money that she should come back to Dillon... and now she is 5 weeks pregnant. I am green. Positivly jealous.

Steven and I have been trying to concieve for almost 4 years. Counting days, schedules (totally unromantic let me tell you) taking tempuratures, and drugs... terrible gut bombing drugs that made me a pile of raging hormones. Still nothing.. We had a brief pregnancy 2 years ago...right after we got married, but I misscarried before we even told anyone about it. Most people dismiss our infertility as silly since we already have two children. I have a daughter from a previous .... umm well lets just say I have a daughter. And Steven and his ex wife have a daughter together (She is really MINE, we have custody and Jaime rarely sees her let alone support her)... but honestly. I sometimes feel like a failure to Steven, who badly wants another baby. Its a nature thing, "genetically fertility challenged". thats me. Sometimes I feel like a defective light bulb... looks fine until you plug her in... My dr says that my fertility would tripple if I could manage to lose a bunch of weight....hmm why didnt I think of THAT? Honestly some drs are so thick headed.

We joined netflix.com. A friend mentioned it in his blog and said he was enjoying it...so we decided to try it... well I decided to try it. After a half hour of suggesting stuff he's like to see Steven wandered off to play with the dog. I was like a madwoman. There are like 100 movies on my que. If you arent familiar with netflix, its this online movie rental site where you make a list of movies you want to see and they send you two of them.. you watch them and send them back in a prepaid envelope... then (this is the great part) they send you two more from your list! Now I am an at home mom dealing with MAJOR boredom in the daytime. The baby that I keep sleeps for hours at a time.. and plays independantly... so MAN am I exited about a never ending line of movies delivered to my door (for the low low price of $9.99)! YAHOO! We should recieve our first movie this week.. I'll let you know how we like it.

Today is Halloween. I love this holiday. Growing up my mother was terribly religious. We werent allowed to trick or treat (never mind it was ALASKA and about 20 degrees). But we stayed at home and watched television and passed out candy while my mother waged a prayerful war on the evils of pixie sticks and candied apples. Or we went to a neighborhood halloween party or to a church lock-in..we had fun certainly, we just didnt get to do the Halloween "thing".

MY KIDS.. dress up every year (Caitlin was GASP! a WITCH last year) and we trick or treat till our little feet fall off.. or until the town curfew wichever comes first. Tonight will be no execption. Costumes are still undecided. We have the makings for both a cat costume and a fairy princess. My girls are still argueing over whom will be wich. Either way they will be adorable and we will have a great family time together begging for candy from the people who live in the big houses downtown and from nearby town Latta. Then we'll come home to a pancake dinner and hot cocoa. I love this time of year..

update.. captain random style

I havent posted in a while so I am gonna just fill yall in on a whole bunch of stuff in one catch all post.

1. we went to the beach last weekend. I woke up saturday in a pool of discontent. I couldnt stand just laying around the house AGAIN. So I got online and found a cheap-o hotel room with a pool and we just took off. It was awesome. I vegged out in a hot tub until my skin nearly floated off of me. Caitlin had a great time pool hopping and playing with all the little tourist kids.

*** We ate at an AWESOME burger joint. Those of you from this area will know thier jingle. River City Cafe.. we make fun a thousand different ways...you know the "complimentary" peanuts? I had never been there but Jasmin wanted to try them out. On approach I was a little leary... looked to me like every saloon I had ever been in in Alaska. But it turned out to be great fun.. and quite honestly the very best hambuger I have had in a resturant in a very long time. They make hand cut fries and the burgers are real meat. Prices werent that bad either...I think it was like $30 for all of us to eat whaterver we wanted and get souvinear plastic glasses.

2. Fall festival at the church is tonight. Last year I was deeply involved in the festival. Derrick & Dianna Jones, Tammy Kale, Carolyn Lockemy and I nearly put up the thing single handedly. Were talking like 30 hours in 3 days. I was so tired by the time it came around I didnt even enjoy it. This year we did better. Monday night we went by for like 2 hours. I painted a box blue and steven helped put the playstation booth together. Thats it. I had ambitions of returning to help last nght, but Daddy's cousin died and I wanted to go look at his relatives... so I never made it back. I feel bad since i was working on a project... hopefully someone will have finished the fishing booth. Tonight I am helping make popcorn and steven is doing security. The girls are exited. Jasmin is going as a cat and Caitie as a fairy princess. (what else?) Steven and I carved pumpkins for the event. Steven's is a "preacher pumpkin" with a tie and a bible and a mustache. Mine is a cat with a spider creeping down his face.. took HOURS to carve. and I cut myself.

3. pumpkin seed question. Ok so I made the kids get all the seeds out of the pumpkin guts. I washed tehm, salted them and roasted them this morning. Are you sopposed to shell them? Or just eat them whole? They are enjoyable both ways.. however I cant help wonder why the touble of shelling them? hmmmm

5. Dalton's mommy is getting married. Caitie is a flower girl.. I have to find her a dress that is wine or burgundy.. and that i can afford. I will be shopping ebay this afternoon.

6. Jasmin STILL hasnt seen her mother (its been since JUNE ).. and we heard from a relaible source that she has been in town most saturdays.That burns my britches that she risks going to jail to see a FRIEND and wont risk it for her own daughter. What a waste of skin.

anywho.. thats about it. I will post halloween pictures on tuesday.

Miss Mildred is Missing

Miss Mildred is missing. She wasnt in her spot in the third row last sunday...and none of the other grannies know where she could be. Her car is in it's spot in her driveway, and her neighbors are very worried. The police were called and they searched her home.. and found her poor cat.. starved to death, litterally dead from lack of food.. Its as if she walked into an episode of a cbs police drama. Just gone...and no one knows where to.

In MY life I am "lucky". I am surrounded by people. I am NEVER alone from morning to night. I dont drive, so everywhere I go.. Im with someone. I babysit in the daytime, so Dalton is here when my kids arent.My mother (who lives next door) calls a hundred times a day. We confer on almost every issue.. from what Im fixing for supper to how the kids day at school was. My Daddy is home 5 out of 7 days and is in and out on the other two. Uncles and Aunts live on either side of me. Accross the street is a sweet cousin who never misses ANYTHING. We call my baby sister in Alaska about every other day. If I dont hear from her for more than a few days I hunt her down amoungst our friends. ( I havent had to do it lately thank goodness) My Aunt Carrie lives there too.. but she is loved and accounted for on a regular basis. I feel better now that Tina lives near so she can run into town and check on her if we cant get ahold of her on the cell phone.There is a certain comfort in knowing that were something to happen to one of us it would only be hours or at the very longest 1 day before someone noticed....not a week and a half like Miss Mildred.

There ARE days when I miss being able to come and go as I please, like when I was single and on my own. There are also days when I realize I took terrible risks.. like riding the city bus in Anchorage 45 minutes into the country and then walking a mile home in the dark, in the winter, where there were moose and who knows what else. Or dating guys I met off the internet. Or exploring Rome Italy alone for the most part for 2 days.

I am praying that Miss Mildred has only just gone off to Raliegh to see her children and in her age forgot to account for poor fluffy the cat.... and I am thankful for my nosy family and knowing that I will never be "Lost" or gone "Without a Trace".

rite of passage

My 11 year old has reached a childhood milestone. She has had her heart broken and I cannot do anything about it. Before now, I could go beat up the bad guys, rescue her and make it all better. I am useless today. Whatsmore.. she handled it better than I did.

Jasmin didnt get the part in the play. She tried her best. I mean she really tried. She chose a part in our church's christmas program that none of her friends wanted (pretty smart for a kid who has less talent than enthusiasm) She memorized THE ENTIRE PART. Word for word. She learned every song and cue in the production.She listened to the recording EVERY NIGHT ALL NIGHT LONG.And then... she stood before the audition "commitee" and did all she could do. But after everything... she is the understudy.

Being her mom Im secretly hoping that the overstuffed caterpillar that got the part gets pneumonia the week of the play... I am also wondering if the judging was totally fair since the leprachan ( I want to call her worse names.. because she really isn't a very nice little girl.. she is mean to Jasmin and is very badly behaved in general. ) that got the part's parent was on the audition "committee" My kneejerk reaction was to march up to the director and give him my opinion of his "commitee". I mean really, even if you arent allowed to score your own child, if you know that she wants a certain part, wouldn't you be more likely to score other children in contention for it.. just a squooch lower? I know I would.. thats why Steven and I declined an invitation to be on the committee.

I thought that Jasmin would be a sad case last night after the parts were announced. But she was like the Susan Lucci of the christmas play world. She smiled and clapped for her. And then came home from church and PLAYED THE DARN PLAY AGAIN. When I asked what she was doing she said " Well.. she COULD get sick... it IS flu season." I walked away shaking my head.

What if we ALL smiled and clapped in the face of dissapointment? What if we could be gracious when our enemy triumphed? Even when they get undeserved reward? I cant rescue Jasmin this time.. and it is likely that she will not play 'grandmother star' in the christmas production. But by watching her handle this situation with grace and maturity, I am encouraged as a mom... I am doing my job. She is a good person... and I am challenged by her to be a better person. To stand tall in the shadow of adversity and always remember.. even when it is dark, all is not lost. After all... it IS flu season!!!

requests

my sister requested that I blog this story...

My husband is dark.. like Abu from Saudi Arabia dark. I have been asked by my midwest family if he was part black? middle eastern? mexican? Steven and his brothers all have deep olive skin and black hair... a lot of it. They are some hairy people. And Steven? hmm he is exceptional when it comes to hairiness. He is also short and solid. Much like a gorrilla. You must know this in order to visualize the story.

One fall saturday Steven the girls and I were on a trip to Riverbanks Zoo in Columbia. We love to make little adventures and being from Alaska I had never really been to a BIG zoo like Riverbanks. Steven had been documenting as he is often apt to do. Videoing miles and miles, hours and hours of boring footage to fill up our house with.

As the day wore on we became more and more annoyed with his face constantly being attatched to a camera and had begun to pester him to put it away

The zoo was very crowded, and the day had begun to get rather warm. So we decided that a visit to the Gorilla house to rest would be a good idea. We viewed the outside enclosure and watched a HUGE male gorrilla prance and jump around in the yard. The signage indicated that because of one of the females "heat" the male gorrilla was particularly aggressive and that he should not be provoked.... little did we know how easily that would happen!

We joined a pretty large group of families that we had been touring unofficially with and entered the inside viewing area. There were benches around the outside perimeter and several interactive exhibits that kids could enjoy. There was also a wall sized plexiglass window looking into the gorilla's "home". It consisted of various levels of platforms and hay piles for resting, as well as hanging ropes and toys. There were about 5 smaller females sleeping or staring back at us and the one enormous fellow who had seemingly calmed down. He was sitting quietly with his back to the crowd.

Other familes obviosly had been looking for a place to rest, and juice boxes and animal crackers were produced from more than one knapsack. While our children enjoyed thier lukewarm applejuice and granola bars, Steven amused himself filling up the last of the first of our 90 minute video tapes. He began to interact with one particular female who was sitting very close to the window. Getting really good footage and even standing on the bench to place his hand against the window to avoid the glare of the plexiglass. She was equally amused by Steven and moved even closer to the glass.

Then to the audience's delight, Big Daddy Gorrilla noticed what appeared to be a short, stocky, dark and hairy would be suitor approaching one of his women. In a flash he turned and stood on his hind feet. Hair prickling he raised his arms above his head. He opened his mouth and barred his sharp teeth.... screamed a guteral animalistic yowl..... and charged Steven. Who up until that moment had been oblivious to Big Daddy. You can only imagine the movement that took place!

Steven suddenly became accutely aware... in one fell swoop , screaming like a hollywood movie starlett in a B movie, he jumped.. not back or away. but OVER the bench, stumbling over the now hilarious crowd, juice boxes and animal crackers went flying. I laughed so hard I nearly needed oxygen.

Had I been running the camera, and had it trained on Steven and what took place above him, wed have made large amounts of money on America's Funniest Home Movies, but unfortunatly on our video you see a peacefull gorrilla, adn then suddenly you hear a scream and then the movement of Steven running away.... good times :)