Raising kids is like yard gardening.

Raising children is a lot like yard gardening. Just stay with me and I'll explain.

Lately I have been noticing different people's parenting styles. Comparing them to mine and I have observed some things. .

Its interesting to watch how a mother's upbringing and childhood experience can MASSIVELY affect her parenting. I have been watching my cousin who has been staying with us recovering from the birth of her daughter. She was basically neglected emotionally by her Mother growing up. In response to this she practially smothers her children with love. She tells them a million times a day that she loves them. However she is so afraid that they will feel slighted or neglected if she repremands them, she just doesnt.Her 8 year old is not required to respect adults and talks back. She basically just does as she pleases.

You can imagine how well this has gone over in MY household! I was aware of the behavior of the 8 yr old before now. But it never affected me personally, so I never thought much of it. I pity her mostly, because life will prove to be a hardship for her unless she learns to respect authority.

Also this week I have had to learn the hard way the old addage. "Parenting isnt a Popularity Contest". I never really understood it until I had my children. I always thought I could be best friends with my kids. I had a friend who was really his Mom's best friend and I admired thier relationship. It wasnt until recently that I learned that most times? Its not possible. You cannot be your kid's friend. They dont need a friend. They need a parent. Its a very different relationship and they NEED it. Kids thrive under structure, and they NEED to be molded with discipline.

If you are a frequent reader you will recall that Thing One is grounded this first week of summer vacation. If you havent read "In wich I am a CSI Agent" feel free.. its an amusing read. I hate punishing my girls. But I dont feel guilty when I do, not most of the time. This week has been particularly hard since her "offence" was so long ago and her behavior between then and now has been her really great. Her usual well behaved self.But one thing I do try to do with my girls is to keep my word. I say what I mean, and mean what I say.My word is my bond. When it comes to them if I say its raining? They better get an umbrella. I like it that way. They'll never wonder about trusting me to do as I say... both in the hard things and the fun stuff.

I also know that if I dont keep them at hand they will grow like wild weeds. Dandeliions,unruly and annoying, not really good for anything. I want them to be more like a well groomed hedge. With purpose and a direction. A good hedge takes work. Weeding and grooming. Constant direction. Like a beautiful rose bush, kids have to be corrected, sometimes even pruning them back to bare branches. Knowing that for a time it will be hard to look at them, but that in the end a beautiful garden will be produced. Great fruit, and beautiful blooms.

Im a AUNTIE.... again

Emma Grace Hofferbert

May 25, 2006 6:58 pm

8 lbs 5 oz

20 inches long

Well.. she's here, and thank goodness its over, and I am home. Stephanie did pretty well. She did give us a scare when she got her epidural though. She had been having contractions about every 3 minutes for 5 hours. Her blood pressure had been pretty high all morning. When she finally dialated far enough to get her "good drugs" the anesthesiologist administered her epidural and her blood pressure immediatly crashed. She passed out and had a small seziure. Emma's heart rate also crashed. I felt pretty helpless except to stand there and pray. The Dr's sprang into action and gave her drugs to kick start her BP, hooked her up to some oxygen, and flipped her onto her side. Both sprang back pretty well. It was no big deal to the nurses and the Dr, since this happens pretty often I am told.. BUT I needed to put my head between my knees and take some big breaths for sure! Not long later she was able to push and Emma was born in just a half hour of pushing! It was fast and furious.Not at all like my own labor that took 30 hours. I got to cut the cord and hold her soon after she was born. AMAZING experience. It was like you could feel the angels in the room.

So anyway. Congrats to Stephanie, and to me, and whoever else wants to claim this kis :)

and shepherds kept thier watch by night...

Yup, thats right STILL on baby watch. I think she will just stay in there forever. With the way I am talking you'd think it was ME that was pregnant.

Today is my mama's birthday. Its depressing me. I feel this funky wierdness creeping up on me. Not because its my mother's 55th birthday... but because with the arrival of HER day.. I know that there are only a few short days until MINE.

I am totally dreading my birthday this year.I do not wish to be THIRTY at all. I dont want presents or cake... I just want to go to bed and not wake up all day long. Maybe if I dont get up all day, it wont have happened and I will go on being "young" forever. I cant imagine that so much time has passed. ( Yes, Im whining, But its my blog and I'll whine if I want to)

OR I want a HUGE party where I can eat chocoalte cake and greasy pizza and not have to do the dishes from it.

NAH.. I just want the years I feel like Ive wasted back...and that set of lavendar 400 count egyptian cotton bedsheets I didnt buy tooday.

A few things

I have a lot going on today. And nothing at all.

Ever see the "I Love Lucy" episode when they were waiting for little Ricky to be born? Like sitting around looking at her waiting for her to say "it's time" . Thats us. She has contractions.. but not regularly enough to be called actual labor. Her back hurts and she is carrying the baby so low that it looks like one good sneeze and shed shoot across the floor.

I read a lot of Blogs..And someone who wrote one called "Caner, baby" about cancer and infertility died this week, even though I didnt know her personally, I still feel this crazy sense of loss. So sad, she was just 33 yrs old. Three years older than me.

The season finale of Greys Anatomy was on last night. Gut wrenching. One character in particular Denny a heart patient, the love interest of Izzy, died. She lay on the bed with his body..in shock, and Alex, usually a cad and a lamehead someone whom she had been involved with before she met Denny. Picks her up and craddles her in the most amazing tender way. Both Steph and I were sobbing like two giant crybabies.
Meredith slept with McDreamy again.. it was lame. five steps forward Nine steps back. GRRRR. AND she could have had Chris FREAKING O'donell. He is sooo totally yummy. All scruffy and sexy. That show had almost to much going on.. like 4 major story lines. It was 3 hours worth of GA.. and I was HAPPY.

Cleaned all day like a mad woman. They say pregnant women "nest" right before they go into labor. If thats true I am going at it full force for stephanie who is on bedrest.

Anyone have some "get that labor started" home rememdies? Since she is single, having *ahem* "vigrorous relations" as one website suggested is out. We will be going out to get some raspberry leaf tea this evening and will be taking a lonnnng walk.
Anything else?

Gone

In to the night
Over the moon
beyond the stars
and into His loving arms....

Jessica, I know you're holding your babies that never were in heaven right this very minute. I know they came running when they heard the call that you were approaching the gates.

Cancer, baby
Jessica

1970-2006

Some things about my Mom

Being that tommorow is Mother's Day Ive been thinking about my Mother.
I am so blessed to be close to her.. both litterally and emotionally. I wanted you all to know some things about her.

My Mother's name is Leanna.She was born in Colorado May 23, 1952. She was the oldest daughter to Clinton and Faye Allison. She was raised in Fruita and Grand Junction and had two sisters. My Aunts Carrie and Cindy. When she was 13 Faye and Clinton divorced and Faye married my Papa Louie Marinelli. Making her the eldest of 7.A few years later the family moved to Washington state She graduated from Issaquah High School, and in March of 1973 she met my father Ed Martin while working at her stepfather's gas station. They were engaged in May and married August 18,1973. I was born 3 years later in 1976 with my sister to follow in 1979. She was a stay at home mom raising us, and many of her nieces and nephews along with all of our friends and the neighborhood with love and undivided attention.

She raised me to be a stong independant woman, yet she showed me by example how to be a good wife.

She taught me to cook, and to keep a good house, and to treat my husband with a firm, yet submissive hand.

She showed me how to pray, taught me that going to church was important, and that my relationship with the Lord was more important than anything else.

She taught me by example that when I place others ahead of myself it is only for my own gain.

She shows me that being cheerful about something is better than whining about it.

I think that I am quite likely the person that I am because of her.




She and I have been through a lot together.

She nearly died shortly after my birth due to a botched c section. I had only been home from the hospital a few days when she hemmoraged and nearly bled to death internally. When I was a difficult teenager she stood behind me and pushed me through. When I was pregnant out of wedlock she held my hair when I puked, bought me lemons when I craved them, went to every Dr appt and held my hand for over 30 hours of labor. She cried with me when early motherhood was difficult and walked the floor outside my room while I learned to do it myself... and then flew to the rescue the minute I called for her. She loves my choice of husband, and took his child from another relationship as her grandchild seamlessly.

I am so blessed and thankful for her.

The Divine Miss Emm

Just a quick update. I am sooo stinking tired. We are still waiting for Miss Emma Grace to make her appearance. Stephanie and I spent most of the week in the hosptial (watching hours and hours of the FOOD network. Steph was tortured) Waiting for the OB to either induce her labor or let us go home. Finally this morning they gave us our walking papers and will have us back to the office on monday.. probably to addmit her to be induced. But I digress.

We are both wayy tired and glad to be home to the babies... Im sure Steven who has been running Daddy Daycare is glad we are home for the weekend.

I will keep you posted.

Thing Two's refuge

I was thinking today about thing two. She really is a neat kid. She plays so imaginatively.. then I got to thinking about little girls and thier bedrooms. Her bedroom is a refuge. The only place on this earth that is uniquely her own. I have molded it a little.. provided decorations. But really she has made it her own. Its all full of her treasures. Her own designs and her personality.

She IS pink fluffy canopies and vanities. She IS a line up a flower laiden faires parading accross her wall. She is a Disney Princess. (How many kids do YOU know who have personally met ALL of them THREE times?)There are tiny piles of even tinier dolls and thier much tinier accesories. Ponys and thier playmates.. and piles and piles of clothes..that spill out of her dresser out of the closet that is not barred by a door but sparkling rows of tinkerbell beads.

There wont be another single place in her life that will be so indicative of her personality. She may have her own aparment, but she'll hide away her personality in leiu of being S"stylish" She certainly wont have piles of tiny dolls and rocks and shells hidden in shoeboxes.

I love that about being a little kid.. and I hope that it will be a long long time before she begins hiding her personality and making it look "stylish"

In wich I am a CSI agent

I am CSI agent MOMMY. And I have cracked the case.

Thing One is busted.

Here's how it went down.

Sometime last week.. I suspect monday or Tuesday, a flyer was circulated at Thing One's school. I have not actually SEEN said flyer since it was detroyed in hopes of removing evidence of guilt..but I know it exists. AND since I am Judge, Jurry, and the prosecution in this case.. I will allow testimony to stand without the actual evidence.The flyer promoted a non school sanctioned PROM. (for 11 yr olds? yeah. for 5th graders) Said Prom was to take place friday evening in a very very seedy area of town.Yes indeedee booty shakin would be goin down in D town friday!

My cousin's daughter,the co-defendant (we'll call her curly top) and Thing One, who are often in cahoots, began the deception.. (attempted deception that is) when the flyer was not presented to thier parents upon reciept. Had this happened? This issue would have been closed and the problem stopped before it began.. but they conspired to commit treason.

Thing One spends every other weekend with her "biolgical female non-custodial parental unit". (hence refered to as JDL) Thing One aware that this was said weekend, and that her chances of talking JBL into allowing her to attend the PROM were FAR FAR greater than the than if she petitioned Steven or I.(she was correct in her deduction.. it'd be a cold day in hell before Id allow her to be DROPPED of at a place where I didnt know the adults or whatever. THERE IS NO WAY) She decpetivly kept the event to herself. The treasonous act was in play.

The day of the crime.

Things were going as planned. Thing One would clear said PROM with JBL. Upon hearing that Thing One would be allowed to attend the PROM, Curly Top's parental unit would assume that said approval was passed by Steven and I.Allowing for the fact that Steven and I are FAR more strict and more protective of Things One and Two than they are of Curly Top...Our approval would surely convince Curly Top's parents that attendance of said PROM was acceptable.

Thing One would then arrange for JBL to pick up both her and Curly Top here, dropping them off for later retrieval. They would attend said PROM without Steven or I's knowledge since we were conviently out of town chaperoning a Youth Worship Conference at Myrtle Beach with no ill effect.

This is where things went south for them.

JDL had car trouble. (as usual) Her alternator was broken and she would not be able to drive to Dillon to complete the plan of the defendant. I, who was unaware of the plotted scheme, didnt mention the fact that her Maternal Grandparents would be delivering her to her mother at the beach until directly before my departure in a last minute phone call. OH! To have seen the look on her face!

This was a major problem to the plan, It was sinking fast as the Titanic. Frantic, Thing One begged my Mother for the use of her cell phone to call JDL long distance,and clear the PROM with her so her Grandparents would make the drop off and the plan could be salvaged. My Mother (God Bless her) smelled a rat. She informed the defendant that since she would see her mother in a few short hours that communication was not neccesary. Defeated but not destroyed Thing One returned home to devise yet another plan.

In desparation, Thing One telephoned her Biological Maternal Step Grandfather and requested that he relay the message in refernce to the PROM to JBL and would he PLEASE have her to call back as soon as possible, thank you very much?

JBL completely unaware that treason was being commited, and assuming that Steven and I were informed, agreed to said prom and began to make arrangements for transpotation.Typical. SHe could have foiled the plan had she asked then if Steven and I were aware of the scheme.. but she was her usual uninformed self.

The snag that made all the diiference.

Curly top by now in full force, all systems go to convince her parents that since Thing One is allowed to attend the prom that she should too. The dad and mom were thinking... this didnt sound kosher. Something was amiss.. and when Curly Top's mama glanced outside and noticed our empty driveway, she KNEW something was very wrong.She made a call to my mother, whom she informed of the dance and the plan being hatched. Who called us (on the borrowed cell phone that we had in our possesion since I am the labor coach for my very very pregnant cousin and needed to be reachable)

Upon hearing this, Steven called JdL and put a stop to the plan. Thing One was busted and Curly Top thwarted. The plan was dead.

This court finds Thing One GUILTY of treason, the intent to attend unacceptable functions to commit illegal forms of bootie shaking, and the attempt to put on over on Mom and Dad. For these actions she is sentenced. One week complete and total, utter groundation. No phone, no friends, no tv. no Music, and no books other than the bible. There will be chores to be completed and this time is to be served from Monday at 6am until Friday at 6 pm the first week of summer vaction. This sentance may not be commuted, changed or otherwise altered. This is the word of the court.

We stand at recess.

A swift kick in the butt

So,

I had to get over it.Sometimes you just have to have a good cry. Whine in your blog, and then wash your face with cold water, blow our nose, and suck it up soldier. I mean really. You cant go around all wierd and jealous all the time. I still want to have a baby, and Im still sad that we arent preggo yet. BUT You have bad days and good days. Sat was a bad day, today was ok. I went with my cousin to the Dr. She has been having some wierd swelling and cramping. Personally, usually I think she is a little wimpy and whinish. But seems that this is real and her OB is a little worried she might have preterm labor. Not super duper worried, but worried enough to have her in every week until the baby comes.so we have to go back again in a week... and then I think we'll NEED to go shopping and then to get ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery (yay for banana uce cream!!) Anyway. Its not terrible though since She is 33 weeks and a baby born after 28 weeks is viable, and anything after 35 weeks is within normal ranges. ( 38-42 weeks is ideal though) We just gotta keep her pregnant for at least 3 more weeks then everything will be cool. In other news I am speed crocheting a baby aphgan for my other pregnant cousin. She is having a boy.. we actually saw her at the OB in Florence (See why I am a raving jealous lunatic? Babies everywhere!!) Her shower is this Sunday.. so I gotta boogie on it. Miles to go still on it.

In wich I whine and confess my jealousy

Warning... there is a lot of whining in this blog.. and wah wahing and a lot of other unattractive things.

I am jealous. There. I said it.I confess. I am so jealous it makes me feel a little ill at the stomach. Its SO unattractive and I cant make myself stop. My cousin is pregnant. And I am HATING it. Im trying so hard to be supportive, and a good friend and everything through it.Since she is a single Mom and going through a hard time. Im even her labor coach. But GRRR!!!! Today was SOOO hard.And it was unexpected too.. just out of the blue. Today I was jealous.

Today was our church's annual Family fun.. go sit in the hot sun and bake while the sportish ones play sportish games day. And since she goes to our church, she was there.. in a cute maternity top. Something that is really more my style than her usual one...something that I would totally have bought if I could ever get my stupid body to cooperate with me and get pregnant. I kept looking at her.. walking that "Im pregnant" walk and the way she stood with her hand on her tummy, and I wanted to die inside or worse, be rude and make snide comments about how maybe having one child out of wedlock should have taught her a lesson....Thankfully I didnt do either.. but as a man thinketh.. so is he.. ya know?

I know I know.. there are a lot of people who cant even have babies. and I should be so much more than thankful for the two that I have. I am. believe me. I love my girls.. to distraction. They are my whole life. But I guess since getting pregnant (and having it last long enough to be able to tell anyone. since I suspect at least one if not two misscarriages in the last year) is something I really really want...its just like any other infertility. Heartbreaking. Its a wierd feeling... like a failure of some kind. Like, Steven signed up to be married to a wife who could provide him with another child.. and Im not.(havent YET that is) So its hard not to feel like I am failing him. Even though I know that he would never want me to feel that way.

I do know someone who recently (like in the last year) found out that they cant have kids as a couple at all. Ever. Its one of those totally lame situations, since they would make really really good parents. She is a teacher, and he is like one giant kid.. Some things just dont make sense ya know? Anyway. I dont know them well enough to talk about it with either of them, but I know that it bothers them. So I try really hard not to mention our infertility since my life is already full of kids and family and all. But MAN today was so stinking lame.. I was like obsessed thinking about how unfair it is that she is pregnant and I cant be.. and then bummed, and then I got snippy with my her when she was whining about some pregnancy thing. (wich as a pregnant woman is her God given right) when we left I was ashamed for allowing myself to be that way.. and for sniping at her. I am so lame sometimes.

lame lame lame.

CALVIN!!!

I am in deep deep trouble. I have come to the conclusion that Thing Two is far smarter than I first imagined. Dont get me wrong, in no way did I suspect that she was dumb, quite the oposite. This is only a further example of her intelligence... and my doom. She is way smarter than me.

Last night we had broccoli and cauliflower for dinner. I am in the school of thought that my kids really need to eat veggies.My mother thinks that they shouldnt be made to eat things they dont like (I want to know where THIS woman was when I was a kid.. BUTTERBEANS ew ew ew ew) But if they werent MADE to eat veggies they would get little if any fiber. Or all the other vitamins and minerals that are in green veggies, orange veggies and the like. There are comprimises I have made. Thing One doesnt have to eat lettuce..ever, and neither of them eat raw tomato or onion, or mushrooms, pretty much most veggies. BUT I do insist on some form of greenery most dinners. I dont get all exotic on them and I try to keep things pretty kid friendly.

Last night Thing Two won. She really got me. Tuesday and wednesday nights are hectic for us. Choir practice and church services call for quick dinners and generally a McMeal one out of two. Last night was no exception. I made a pork roast, brown rice, and a steamed veggie mix from the freezer (carrots, broccoli and cauliflower) Thing One choked hers down.. washing each bite down with koolaide like a pill.. I say Do what ya gotta. Thing Two pushed hers around the plate hiding it under the rice and generally whining and making me annoyed.Suddenly she beacme quiet and in minutes presented me with a fairly clean plate. Smiling my secret "Mom wins" smile. I excused her from the table.

I did not learn of my defeat until today when Steven was arranging the cushions on the dining room chairs. Neatly piled under Thing Two's chair cushion was..... You guessed it. 2 broccoli spears and a pile of mooshy cauliflower.What makes this her "point" is that I was sitting accros the table from her... and didnt see a thing.

trust

trust


Ive been thinking a lot about trusting God.. Not meaning that I dont now, or that I am doubting him.Just about the actual act. Our goal is to worry about nothing. To completely release our lives in every aspect whether it be the mundane or the life shattering to his will.For me, I guess it isnt so much about TRUST than SUBMISSION

Historically I have a pretty hard time with authority. Ok a REALLY hard time with authority. I do not like to be told what to do. I do not deal well with structure.I am a free spirit that doesnt like to be held down. I even went to an alternative high school that totally fed my authority problems. As students we were self governed and had very very little structure. I have come to learn that it wasnt the actual authority figures that gave me a headache. But the submission that authority requires.

*** Bunny trail... Seeing as I personally have such a problem with structure and authority I find it totally strange that I am a strict parent. I am all about vegtables, bedtimes,homework and rules. I am WAY stricter than my parents were with me. hmmmm wierd.***end bunny trail.

I cant believe that I will EVER be in permanent submission to anything...sadly even God. Its turning into a daily thing.. And since it mentions something that effect in the bible I cant believe that I am the lone ranger in this problem. Submission is how we die to self and live in Christ.

This isnt my problem. I have a problem with submission, its established. But this is what I am afraid of. If I have to daily remind myself, repent and work so hard on it. Will we ever come out of this horrible spiral of financial hell? If I cant trust blindly will we be poor forever? I know that God as our Father doesnt punish us. He isnt in the business of throwing financial lightening rods at our checkbook. But truthfully? I cant help but feel a little punished. Im working on it though.

total comedy

hahahahah haaa hhaaheee hee ohhh ha ha ha


So, i thought that everyone might like a good laugh...especially the ladies out there who TRUELY understand what this is about!!! This didnt happen to me.. however, I think that considering that it is certainly something I am capable of? I thought Youd enjoy it.

Subject: hair removal Hair removal-warning you may need a towel

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.

It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself.... RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. CRAP! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. DANG!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door. *hoo-hoo*? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? WRONG!!!!!!!

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!!

God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter - "So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or who-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.

I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

in wich I feel like Forest Gump

I feel like Forest Gump.

You know how when someone is in your life.. you know them?What I mean to say is, when someone is an active part of your life, you recognize every outfit they wear. You know that they recently got a new haircut.. when you see thier car riding down the street, you wave.. you know its them.. cause you know thier car. You also know thier friends, whats going on this weekend and whether they have seen the new movie that came out on DVD this week.

I am missing my sister today. Until recently (ok so its been almost a year) she was living right here on the Martin compound..

(let me explain that a little. We live in the country. On a certain dirt road, that half way along has some no tresspass signs on it... past the signs? I am related to every soul that lives there. Next door to me? My parents and Aunt.. Across the street? A cousin and her family. Down the road a little? My Aunt and Uncle. Its all family back here.Some days a blessing, some days a curse.)

and I knew her life. Tonight when I turned on my little myspace page.. there was a new picture of her and she looked so different from the last time I saw her that it hit me like a ton of bricks. I dont know her life anymore and I hated it.

I missed her being here so much I could barely breathe.

I know that she is where she ought to be. And that her life is so much fuller in Alaska.. better even. But just for tonight... I am selfish and wish she was here, and that I knew her clothes, her car, her friends and whether she has seen Chronicles of Narnia or not.I saw something funny and I wanted to take it to her.. I saw something at walmart that I thought shed love.. but she is in Malaska.

I want to call her and tell her to come home RIGHT NOW. But I wont, Im not a big bawl baby, so Im not crying.. but my eyes are all runny and my nose is all snotish...

SO in the words of Forest Gump...

"Thats all I have to say about that ."

triumphant return

I didnt die

I know you thought I did.. or something else awful..

well sorta. I have been using MYSPACE to blog. But I tell ya, today I had a total meltdown trying to post a pic with my blog. I like to illustrate my blogs with pictures.. and on myspace you have to have a webhost.. and its a pain in my patooty.

SO here I am back at blogger.. and happy as a clam.

I will be back-blogging. A few of the worthwhile bloggs from myspace. SO happy reading.