Today my daughter was put through a major dental trauma.
Last week Caitlin, my 5 yr old, complained of a toothache. Thursday night actually she was up all night crying and had a swollen jawline. So, I sent Steven out at 0'dark thirty to spend $7 on a tiny tube of oragel. I drugged her up with motrin and tylenol and she slept most of the night.At first light I began calling every dentist in town and the surrounding areas trying to find someone who could fit her in on a friday as our regular dentist is closed on Fridays. After a search that went as far as Columbia SC (nearly 2 hours away) I finally found a local office that would see her AND would take her medicaid.
The dentist she saw (who happened to be a major hottie) diagnosed her with an absess and put her on an antibiotic (amox 1tsp) and a painkiller (tylenol 3 codiene 1 tsp PRN) and then refered us to a peds oral surgeon. I was warned that this place was a little unorthodox but very highly recommended, and that I wouldnt be allowed in the room with her since it would be a sterile surgery.
I had no idea what we were in for.
We were a few minutes early for our 1pm appt ( I thought 1pm was a little late since she was NPO all day but thats just me) and she was seen almost immediatly. I was not admitted past the waitingroom door. About an hour later a nurse had me sign some forms and I had to agree or dissagree to them RESTRAINING HER! AAAAAK! There was also a line where I would give or not give permission to the dentist holding his hand over her mouth if she were to scream! They were asking permission to extract 3 baby teeth at one time....one of wich was in communication with a nerve.... I should have told them what to do with thier form and taken my surgery prepped baby out of there... but I couldnt imagine putting her through the wait and the agony of one more day with that absessed tooth.
About an hour later they brought her to me Dramatically red faced and crying. The nurse slapped a pack of gauze and a script in my hand and had me sign a release form. " I think she may have felt him pull that last one...You can go now." was all that was said.
I grabbed Caitie up and we left. I didnt make a follow up appointment.
As of now her face is swollen and she still bleeds some.. but the teeth are on the tooth fairy
pillow. She is drugged with little kid percoset and is drooling bloody drool on her pillow. My poor baby.
DO NOT TAKE YOUR CHILD TO CHILDREN'S DENTAL CLINIC IN FLORENCE SC!!!!
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Saturday, September 24, 2005
hellish heat and housewifery
I am whineing again about the heat. I dont suppose it would be so bothersome if our AC wasn't broken. But as our finances... or lack thereof negate fixing the stupidhead useless $3000 machine, here I sit hot,sticky,and hopelessly cranky. Again I say! Who has 100 degree heat in SEPTEMBER? It's not just Sept. it's LATE September...like almost October for gosh sakes.
Today has been very busy. Since I have been spending most days at my parent's sponging off them and breathing thier cool air (watching thier satalite television while The Boy naps haha!) My house had quite gotten away from me... clutter and junk was lying about all over and the bathroom was... lets just say EW! Its amazing how dirty a place can get even while you are only
just sleeping there.
So I washed the kitchen floor and since every single drinking glass we own was lying on and around Steven's computer desk I washed a load of dishes (By hand since our dishwasher also has given up the ghost.) I folded about 5 loads of clothes, and reorganized Thing Two's drawers since she paws through them everyday, and Thing One, who's job it is to put away clean laundry just smashes whatever clothes belonging to Thing One into whatever drawer. I cleaned the bathroom ,washed the rugs and changed the beds.I vacummed (including moving all the furniture so I could adjust the area rug) and dusted the livingroom and washed the electronics with the proper cleaner.
Then when Steven got home from work, much to his chagrin I had a list of errands we HAD to have done TODAY. So we went to the discount store to buy supplies, to the ATM, the postoffice, and to the grocery store. By the time we got home everyone was cranky and sticky.. and Im afraid I took it out on Steven. He had lain across our not bed where the clean linens were waiting to be put back on the bed. I lost it. Why couldnt he have just put the sheets on the bed? Why did he have to lay his sweaty work stinking body across the clean linens. OOO it burned me. It was like everything I do goes unnoticed by him. useless... But I think what REALLY got me was when he saw a spider and suished it.. and then (wait for it) THREW IT ON THE FLOOR. I went berserk. I yelled and threw things... childish? Yes. Worth it? Maybe. Feel better? Definatly.
Today has been very busy. Since I have been spending most days at my parent's sponging off them and breathing thier cool air (watching thier satalite television while The Boy naps haha!) My house had quite gotten away from me... clutter and junk was lying about all over and the bathroom was... lets just say EW! Its amazing how dirty a place can get even while you are only
just sleeping there.
So I washed the kitchen floor and since every single drinking glass we own was lying on and around Steven's computer desk I washed a load of dishes (By hand since our dishwasher also has given up the ghost.) I folded about 5 loads of clothes, and reorganized Thing Two's drawers since she paws through them everyday, and Thing One, who's job it is to put away clean laundry just smashes whatever clothes belonging to Thing One into whatever drawer. I cleaned the bathroom ,washed the rugs and changed the beds.I vacummed (including moving all the furniture so I could adjust the area rug) and dusted the livingroom and washed the electronics with the proper cleaner.
Then when Steven got home from work, much to his chagrin I had a list of errands we HAD to have done TODAY. So we went to the discount store to buy supplies, to the ATM, the postoffice, and to the grocery store. By the time we got home everyone was cranky and sticky.. and Im afraid I took it out on Steven. He had lain across our not bed where the clean linens were waiting to be put back on the bed. I lost it. Why couldnt he have just put the sheets on the bed? Why did he have to lay his sweaty work stinking body across the clean linens. OOO it burned me. It was like everything I do goes unnoticed by him. useless... But I think what REALLY got me was when he saw a spider and suished it.. and then (wait for it) THREW IT ON THE FLOOR. I went berserk. I yelled and threw things... childish? Yes. Worth it? Maybe. Feel better? Definatly.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Women, Men, & the Carolina Justice System
OK Im on a rant today.
I have a cousin who lives accross the street from me. She lives with her husband Matt and thier 10 yr old daughter, and when he is not in jail, her brother-in-law Daniel. He goes to jail on a regular basis on principle for not paying his child support for his children. He'll serve a few months at a time (currently he is serving 4 months at DCDC) and then come out a "changed man" go to work and pay a few payments before falling into drunkeness or unemployment (the later usually caused by the former). He gets a few weeks behind, and the police come to my cousins house, usually when he has casued a fight between he and his brother, and they read him his family court bench warrent and he goes to jail. easy as that.This is a pattern and he accepts it as his life.
Here is what burns my britches.
Steven's ex wife Jaime is under court order to pay us $23 a week for her child Jasmin. She is between 5 and 6 thousand dollars in arrears and has to pay a little over $100 a month of that. She quit paying anything at all Dec 15,2003. She had a warrent to appear in court Oct 04. She did not appear. (stupidhead) There has been a family court bench warrent for one Jaime Danielle Lane/Castrejon for nearly a year. She has been involved in no less than 3 domestic disputes with her brutally abusive illeagal mexican common law idiot (to whom she repeatedly returns to the very minute he gets out of jail... bigger stupidhead) in the past year. All of wich the police have been involved.
We have reported her to local and statewide Childsupport enforcement (SCCSED) as well as the local Sherrifs dept and the one in the county where she resides. Every time she moes we provide them all with the new information. When she works a job and we are informed of it, we report it YET STILL that woman avoids her warrent being served.
She hasnt seen Jasmin since June (when she came to town for our niece's birthday NOT to see her own child) She has to be reminded to even call the poor girl who worries constantly.
I want to know why a MAN who pays child support to a woamn is picked up in a matter of hours after his warrent is issued. and a WOMAN that owes a man can go YEARS with no problems.
I fully believe that were Steven the man behind in his support that Id have been bailing him out of jail months and months ago. Although were it Steven, he'd never have been behind in supporting his child.
I know that as christians, and as good people, we are to be forgiving. BE gentle with our debtors God knows I have owed and still do owe people money. And they ahve been more than forgiving. I guess I need to work on that because I am mad as heck that she gets away with it.
I have a cousin who lives accross the street from me. She lives with her husband Matt and thier 10 yr old daughter, and when he is not in jail, her brother-in-law Daniel. He goes to jail on a regular basis on principle for not paying his child support for his children. He'll serve a few months at a time (currently he is serving 4 months at DCDC) and then come out a "changed man" go to work and pay a few payments before falling into drunkeness or unemployment (the later usually caused by the former). He gets a few weeks behind, and the police come to my cousins house, usually when he has casued a fight between he and his brother, and they read him his family court bench warrent and he goes to jail. easy as that.This is a pattern and he accepts it as his life.
Here is what burns my britches.
Steven's ex wife Jaime is under court order to pay us $23 a week for her child Jasmin. She is between 5 and 6 thousand dollars in arrears and has to pay a little over $100 a month of that. She quit paying anything at all Dec 15,2003. She had a warrent to appear in court Oct 04. She did not appear. (stupidhead) There has been a family court bench warrent for one Jaime Danielle Lane/Castrejon for nearly a year. She has been involved in no less than 3 domestic disputes with her brutally abusive illeagal mexican common law idiot (to whom she repeatedly returns to the very minute he gets out of jail... bigger stupidhead) in the past year. All of wich the police have been involved.
We have reported her to local and statewide Childsupport enforcement (SCCSED) as well as the local Sherrifs dept and the one in the county where she resides. Every time she moes we provide them all with the new information. When she works a job and we are informed of it, we report it YET STILL that woman avoids her warrent being served.
She hasnt seen Jasmin since June (when she came to town for our niece's birthday NOT to see her own child) She has to be reminded to even call the poor girl who worries constantly.
I want to know why a MAN who pays child support to a woamn is picked up in a matter of hours after his warrent is issued. and a WOMAN that owes a man can go YEARS with no problems.
I fully believe that were Steven the man behind in his support that Id have been bailing him out of jail months and months ago. Although were it Steven, he'd never have been behind in supporting his child.
I know that as christians, and as good people, we are to be forgiving. BE gentle with our debtors God knows I have owed and still do owe people money. And they ahve been more than forgiving. I guess I need to work on that because I am mad as heck that she gets away with it.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Southern Discontent
We interupt your normally scheduled programming for this whiney message.
WHY in GODS NAME do any of us live in this stupid place?
It is now nearly the end of September... and it is hot. Not just hot. It is the hienee of Hades hot.
Yesterday it was 10 am.. and there I was sweating, and laying on the couch sweltering. The AC is broken, and we hadnt planned on fixing it this season. It's September.. it should be very comfy by now.. warm days and cool nights. BUT nooooooooooooooooooooo Its sopposed to hit 95 with a heat index of (get this ) 105 degrees today! WHY WHY WHY WHY???
I also have to comment on the bugs that live in the south. Last night I was taking refuge in my bedroom, the one and only air conditioned room in the house (Daddy sent us his window unit). I was laying across the bed being pitifull, feeling banished and sad, when I glanced up the wall, only to see a tiny ANT ARMY on the march up my bedroom wall! UGH!! GROSS! SO, after squishing all visible offending creatures , I soaked the wall and the windowsill they seemed to attacking from with ant poison. Now my bedroom smells faintly of RAID!
This is not the end of the bug adventures I had last night! Imagine if you will, my bedroom, 3 am. Steven is beside me snoring away, and I am slumbering peacefully when suddenly I feel a tiny itch on my nose...then a bigger itch on my cheek, then a twitch on my nose... I reached sleepily to rub my itchy nose and found? A SPIDER. At the time I was not aware that it was a spider, because I squished her and threw her as far as my terrified self could throw her, and did not find her again until I was making the bed this morning. Unfortunatly she was as surprised by me as I was of her and she bit me onthe eyelid
YES folks. The night bug BIT ME. I have two red/purple chew marks on my eyelid. I am also afraid that when I squished the spider that I may have mooshed some of her buggy guts into my eye. So it is all red and weepy... I wonder if she was poisonous?
I hate the south.
WHY in GODS NAME do any of us live in this stupid place?
It is now nearly the end of September... and it is hot. Not just hot. It is the hienee of Hades hot.
Yesterday it was 10 am.. and there I was sweating, and laying on the couch sweltering. The AC is broken, and we hadnt planned on fixing it this season. It's September.. it should be very comfy by now.. warm days and cool nights. BUT nooooooooooooooooooooo Its sopposed to hit 95 with a heat index of (get this ) 105 degrees today! WHY WHY WHY WHY???
I also have to comment on the bugs that live in the south. Last night I was taking refuge in my bedroom, the one and only air conditioned room in the house (Daddy sent us his window unit). I was laying across the bed being pitifull, feeling banished and sad, when I glanced up the wall, only to see a tiny ANT ARMY on the march up my bedroom wall! UGH!! GROSS! SO, after squishing all visible offending creatures , I soaked the wall and the windowsill they seemed to attacking from with ant poison. Now my bedroom smells faintly of RAID!
This is not the end of the bug adventures I had last night! Imagine if you will, my bedroom, 3 am. Steven is beside me snoring away, and I am slumbering peacefully when suddenly I feel a tiny itch on my nose...then a bigger itch on my cheek, then a twitch on my nose... I reached sleepily to rub my itchy nose and found? A SPIDER. At the time I was not aware that it was a spider, because I squished her and threw her as far as my terrified self could throw her, and did not find her again until I was making the bed this morning. Unfortunatly she was as surprised by me as I was of her and she bit me onthe eyelid
YES folks. The night bug BIT ME. I have two red/purple chew marks on my eyelid. I am also afraid that when I squished the spider that I may have mooshed some of her buggy guts into my eye. So it is all red and weepy... I wonder if she was poisonous?
I hate the south.
Monday, September 19, 2005
new tv season
HOORAY! Today begins the new television season. All of our favorite shows are finally coming out of re-runs. YAHOO!!!!
I never was a real big tv watcher until I moved to Dillon. In Alaska there was always a ton of of things to do. Culture lurked around every corner and I really took advantage of it. From community school classes to library lectures, symphony concerts to art exhibits. I literally was never at home. I was even involved in a square dance club called "The Dancing Bears". I learned to square and contra dance as well as swing and waltz there... I learned latin dances taking lessons and from school but more often danced at the "bears" It was incredible exercise!
But HERE? We watch television.
CBS
Amazing Race this season should be interesting. I like this show. The Family version could be fun... unless the kids are whiny. I get enough of whiny kids at home. Close to Home will be passable as a replacement to Judging Amy although tuesday nights are odd for me since I am at choir practice until after 8 and the kids arent in bed till after 9 or nearer to 10.
Criminal Minds will be typical and I will likely watch it unless something on ABC is really good in that time slot. Thomas Gibsoon is in it.He was so totally hilarious as Greg on Dharma and Greg, I think I will have a hard time taking him seriously. Kind of like it was with Charlie Sheen after he was on those Hot Shot movies.
All three CSI are entertaining.. I like NYC the least. Its just so dark and not as well written as Miami. They really need to get the stories of the characters into it. I cant get attatched to them. Where I think I am in love with Horatio Cane. he is such a virtuoous man. Always does the right thing... If were in trouble? Id want Horatio to my rescue!
Ghost Whisperer? that remains to be seen. I really like stories like that.. Friday nights are on again off again for me. Im not usually home to watch, but I will usually stick a tape in and record whatever happens to be on to watch saturday afternoons when nothing but golf is on.
Im glad to see "Still Standing" back, but I wish they'd send "Yes,Dear" off to basura land. STUPID SHOW. Anthony Clark (Greg Warner) was in this show in the late 90's called "Boston Common". He was SOOOO funny on that show. It was cancelled early on. But I wish he was so funny on "Yes, Dear" .
Two and a Half Men is brilliant. That kid Angus T. Jones is FUNNY. Charlie Sheen still plays basically the same guy that he was on Spin City. Schmarmy and skirt chasing, but Jon Crier is so brilliant that it makes up for it.
Last, on CBS is "NCI". I was very perturbed by the writters who killed off a main character"Kate" (Sasha Alexander) last spring. And now plan to bring her around in the premiere as a ghost. CHEESE! For a usually very cleverly witten show. My husband has a HUGE crush on Palley Perrette (Abbie) so we will watch it reguardless of the cheese.
ABC
I am pretty much a CBS girl,they are on most of the day.I dont watch "Lost" and Im not a fan of George Lopez (although I think he is really funny) I am not into Alias(although I loved Jennifer Garner-Aflec in 13 going on 30). I hate "Wifeswap" and I cant handle another "Bachellor". I used to LOVE love love that show.. but watching a bunch of sluts throw themselves at some loser that wont marry them in the end AGAIN makes me ill. I dont like "Brat Camp" and I didnt watch "Dancing with the Stars" since it was on wednesday nights. but there are a few things on ABC that I really like or have been looking forward to.
I think that "Commander in Chief", while a wannabe "West Wing" will be worthwhile. Two words, Gena Davis. Need I say more? She is so good. "Hope and Faith" is very funny mostly due to a brilliant Kelly Rippa. Who would have though that she was so good without Regis?
While I am not a big ABC fan, I do think that the very best night of television is on that network. Sunday nights are awesome thanks to Home makeover (Ty Pennington IS coming to my house... I can feel it.) and Desperate Housewives. The show is trash, cheating, lying, and every other type of mischief... and I love it. (I know, Im going to HELL in a handbasket) BUT best of all, Grey's Anatomy. That show is good good good. Witty, and sharp, sexy and clean at the same time. Its like ER with a brain.
We dont get NBC here, wich is sad. Because we miss out on some things.. like the Olympics for instance. And ER... and Jay Leno. I dont know if I prefer him to David Letterman every single night, but it might be nice to have a late nite choice... oh well.
Well... anyway, thats my take on tv this fall. I need to just turn the thing off... BUT I might miss something!
I never was a real big tv watcher until I moved to Dillon. In Alaska there was always a ton of of things to do. Culture lurked around every corner and I really took advantage of it. From community school classes to library lectures, symphony concerts to art exhibits. I literally was never at home. I was even involved in a square dance club called "The Dancing Bears". I learned to square and contra dance as well as swing and waltz there... I learned latin dances taking lessons and from school but more often danced at the "bears" It was incredible exercise!
But HERE? We watch television.
CBS
Amazing Race this season should be interesting. I like this show. The Family version could be fun... unless the kids are whiny. I get enough of whiny kids at home. Close to Home will be passable as a replacement to Judging Amy although tuesday nights are odd for me since I am at choir practice until after 8 and the kids arent in bed till after 9 or nearer to 10.
Criminal Minds will be typical and I will likely watch it unless something on ABC is really good in that time slot. Thomas Gibsoon is in it.He was so totally hilarious as Greg on Dharma and Greg, I think I will have a hard time taking him seriously. Kind of like it was with Charlie Sheen after he was on those Hot Shot movies.
All three CSI are entertaining.. I like NYC the least. Its just so dark and not as well written as Miami. They really need to get the stories of the characters into it. I cant get attatched to them. Where I think I am in love with Horatio Cane. he is such a virtuoous man. Always does the right thing... If were in trouble? Id want Horatio to my rescue!
Ghost Whisperer? that remains to be seen. I really like stories like that.. Friday nights are on again off again for me. Im not usually home to watch, but I will usually stick a tape in and record whatever happens to be on to watch saturday afternoons when nothing but golf is on.
Im glad to see "Still Standing" back, but I wish they'd send "Yes,Dear" off to basura land. STUPID SHOW. Anthony Clark (Greg Warner) was in this show in the late 90's called "Boston Common". He was SOOOO funny on that show. It was cancelled early on. But I wish he was so funny on "Yes, Dear" .
Two and a Half Men is brilliant. That kid Angus T. Jones is FUNNY. Charlie Sheen still plays basically the same guy that he was on Spin City. Schmarmy and skirt chasing, but Jon Crier is so brilliant that it makes up for it.
Last, on CBS is "NCI". I was very perturbed by the writters who killed off a main character"Kate" (Sasha Alexander) last spring. And now plan to bring her around in the premiere as a ghost. CHEESE! For a usually very cleverly witten show. My husband has a HUGE crush on Palley Perrette (Abbie) so we will watch it reguardless of the cheese.
ABC
I am pretty much a CBS girl,they are on most of the day.I dont watch "Lost" and Im not a fan of George Lopez (although I think he is really funny) I am not into Alias(although I loved Jennifer Garner-Aflec in 13 going on 30). I hate "Wifeswap" and I cant handle another "Bachellor". I used to LOVE love love that show.. but watching a bunch of sluts throw themselves at some loser that wont marry them in the end AGAIN makes me ill. I dont like "Brat Camp" and I didnt watch "Dancing with the Stars" since it was on wednesday nights. but there are a few things on ABC that I really like or have been looking forward to.
I think that "Commander in Chief", while a wannabe "West Wing" will be worthwhile. Two words, Gena Davis. Need I say more? She is so good. "Hope and Faith" is very funny mostly due to a brilliant Kelly Rippa. Who would have though that she was so good without Regis?
While I am not a big ABC fan, I do think that the very best night of television is on that network. Sunday nights are awesome thanks to Home makeover (Ty Pennington IS coming to my house... I can feel it.) and Desperate Housewives. The show is trash, cheating, lying, and every other type of mischief... and I love it. (I know, Im going to HELL in a handbasket) BUT best of all, Grey's Anatomy. That show is good good good. Witty, and sharp, sexy and clean at the same time. Its like ER with a brain.
We dont get NBC here, wich is sad. Because we miss out on some things.. like the Olympics for instance. And ER... and Jay Leno. I dont know if I prefer him to David Letterman every single night, but it might be nice to have a late nite choice... oh well.
Well... anyway, thats my take on tv this fall. I need to just turn the thing off... BUT I might miss something!
Friday, September 16, 2005
Martin Toes
My first cousin John and his girlfriend Christina had a baby this week. Her name is Breanna Nicole and she weighed 6lbs 11 oz and was 19 inches long. She has brown hair and blue eyes... and Martin toes.
I never really think much about my family or my Southern heritage until another baby is born. I have a really really huge family. My father has 10 brothers and sisters. 3 sisters and 7 brothers. A sister and two brothers have passed on, but all of the remaining siblings live within 50 miles of here. Not to mention thier nearly 40 offspring (minus the 3 cousins that live on the west coast all within 20 miles of eachother). and now our children.
The kids were raised poor, living in near squallor and constant poverty. As children they rarely attended school, and went to work as soon as they were old enough. Picking cotton, tending tabbacco feilds, and scraping together enough to help the brood get by. My grandfather worked for the State on a road crew, walking everyday miles and miles from nearby Little Rock, SC to the "big town" of Dillon.
We all share in the loss of the Patriarch and Matriarch of the family. My grandfather John Dewey Sr died when my Father was only 7 and the youngest, my aunt Linda, only a few months old. There is not one single photograph of him. My grandmother died a year before my birth in 1976 to heart problems. I am told that when the light hits my face just right or when my eyes flash in anger, that I resemble her.
My uncles were wild in their youth, notorious in this small town.Lawless drunks who caroused and were outlaws.Rebels, angry over thier stolen childhoods. My oldest Aunt, "Betty Jean" was a wild beauty in the 60's. She married young, and took a few of the kids with her when she left home, my father one of them. My two youngest Aunts, "Linda and Nita" partied through the 70's and 80's marrying and divorcing 5 men between them. But time and age has mellowed them all, and all of them have become dotting Grandfathers and Grandmothers. All of thier wildness melted at the words "Papa" or "Granny.
We are not a "pedigreed" family. We are of no particular lineage, and our geneology drips off into obscurity after a few generations. Scandal or poverty caused some relative about 5 generations back to make a name change to Martin and we cannot trace any further. But we have married among the families of Dillon county, touching the branches of nearly every family tree.
We have a distinct look, a grecian nose, and olive skin. Influences from the middle east are evident as well as something that could only come from darkest Africa. English and Polish, Italian and Dutch. Some are tall and lanky like Europeans, others are squat and wide appearing cuban or mexican. But the one thing nearly every person has, are Martin toes. They are long and thin and they are dexterious and the second toe is much much longer then the big toe.
When my own daughter was born as well as any other "Martin baby", the first ting anyone ever does is whip out those tootsies and afirm thier lineage. Its a proud moment.
There is something very sweet about belonging to something. Knowing that you are a part, and that nothing can change it. We may not be much, or have much, but we have eachother, and our toes ;)
I never really think much about my family or my Southern heritage until another baby is born. I have a really really huge family. My father has 10 brothers and sisters. 3 sisters and 7 brothers. A sister and two brothers have passed on, but all of the remaining siblings live within 50 miles of here. Not to mention thier nearly 40 offspring (minus the 3 cousins that live on the west coast all within 20 miles of eachother). and now our children.
The kids were raised poor, living in near squallor and constant poverty. As children they rarely attended school, and went to work as soon as they were old enough. Picking cotton, tending tabbacco feilds, and scraping together enough to help the brood get by. My grandfather worked for the State on a road crew, walking everyday miles and miles from nearby Little Rock, SC to the "big town" of Dillon.
We all share in the loss of the Patriarch and Matriarch of the family. My grandfather John Dewey Sr died when my Father was only 7 and the youngest, my aunt Linda, only a few months old. There is not one single photograph of him. My grandmother died a year before my birth in 1976 to heart problems. I am told that when the light hits my face just right or when my eyes flash in anger, that I resemble her.
My uncles were wild in their youth, notorious in this small town.Lawless drunks who caroused and were outlaws.Rebels, angry over thier stolen childhoods. My oldest Aunt, "Betty Jean" was a wild beauty in the 60's. She married young, and took a few of the kids with her when she left home, my father one of them. My two youngest Aunts, "Linda and Nita" partied through the 70's and 80's marrying and divorcing 5 men between them. But time and age has mellowed them all, and all of them have become dotting Grandfathers and Grandmothers. All of thier wildness melted at the words "Papa" or "Granny.
We are not a "pedigreed" family. We are of no particular lineage, and our geneology drips off into obscurity after a few generations. Scandal or poverty caused some relative about 5 generations back to make a name change to Martin and we cannot trace any further. But we have married among the families of Dillon county, touching the branches of nearly every family tree.
We have a distinct look, a grecian nose, and olive skin. Influences from the middle east are evident as well as something that could only come from darkest Africa. English and Polish, Italian and Dutch. Some are tall and lanky like Europeans, others are squat and wide appearing cuban or mexican. But the one thing nearly every person has, are Martin toes. They are long and thin and they are dexterious and the second toe is much much longer then the big toe.
When my own daughter was born as well as any other "Martin baby", the first ting anyone ever does is whip out those tootsies and afirm thier lineage. Its a proud moment.
There is something very sweet about belonging to something. Knowing that you are a part, and that nothing can change it. We may not be much, or have much, but we have eachother, and our toes ;)
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Hurricane Oscar the Grouch
We interupt your normally scheduled programming to bring you this special stormtracker report... There has been a hurricane on Sesame Street. Damage was nominal, restricted to downed limbs, blown leaves and frightened Telly Monsters... And most unfortuntatly Big Bird's
nest. Damage to his home is extensive and all of his toys are thought to be lost. A missing persons report was filed for "RADAR" the bear, but thankfully he was found a short time later unharmed. .. Im not kidding. What a great idea. Kids all over have had to deal with watching hours and hours of grown up talk about FEMA, evacuation, and floating dead bodies.What better way to help them deal with it all than to watch familiar freiends repair, and rebuild? I hadnt realized that my own child had been affected until today
Last night my children took refuge with my parents at their home next door. Not that we feared danger from Hurricane Ophelia... She wasnt scheduled to appear anywhere near our house. But
on the safe side in fear of downed trees on our property, the children enjoyed being spoiled by Nana and Papa. However I think that this may have done more harm than good. This morning Thing 2 burst through the front door at first light, and exclaimed. "ohhhh my God. Im so glad you are still here." Apparently she was under the assuption that her father and I (who were happy to stay warm in our own bed at home, rather than bunk on the floor at my parents) had been washed away in a flood or blown away by the wind, and that we had shipped she and her sister to live with my parents. Can you imagine? Poor baby, lying awake imagining Steven and I
swimming in deep dark water... or worse.
I think in the future I will be more careful about what I allow my kids to watch, and what I talk about around them.
nest. Damage to his home is extensive and all of his toys are thought to be lost. A missing persons report was filed for "RADAR" the bear, but thankfully he was found a short time later unharmed. .. Im not kidding. What a great idea. Kids all over have had to deal with watching hours and hours of grown up talk about FEMA, evacuation, and floating dead bodies.What better way to help them deal with it all than to watch familiar freiends repair, and rebuild? I hadnt realized that my own child had been affected until today
Last night my children took refuge with my parents at their home next door. Not that we feared danger from Hurricane Ophelia... She wasnt scheduled to appear anywhere near our house. But
on the safe side in fear of downed trees on our property, the children enjoyed being spoiled by Nana and Papa. However I think that this may have done more harm than good. This morning Thing 2 burst through the front door at first light, and exclaimed. "ohhhh my God. Im so glad you are still here." Apparently she was under the assuption that her father and I (who were happy to stay warm in our own bed at home, rather than bunk on the floor at my parents) had been washed away in a flood or blown away by the wind, and that we had shipped she and her sister to live with my parents. Can you imagine? Poor baby, lying awake imagining Steven and I
swimming in deep dark water... or worse.
I think in the future I will be more careful about what I allow my kids to watch, and what I talk about around them.
Monday, September 12, 2005
Cinnamon candles
I love candles. There is something about burning a candle that says "home". It says you put a little effort into making your space a home, and that you plan to stay there and marinate for a while. Marinating is what I do best. I love to travel. I like to visit places and see things. But my favorite place to be is on my couch after a hot (soapy lol ) bath, wearing flannel jammies, drinking cocoa and actually NEEDING a blanket. YAY
I burn candles all year round. In summer I switch to somethuing fruity and light like melon or flowery rose tones, but come the first of september? I break out rich glossy red candles that burn almost constantly from nearly every surface in my home. You can smell the cinnamon as you approach my front porch. Even our clothes smell faintly of apple pie.
Smells are very important, they trigger memory. Every major moment I can think of in my past can be related to a certain smell. My mothers perfume on my first day of school, my grandmothers old fashioned lipstick on the day she showed me how to wear it, hot California pine straw when I was not even 4 on a camping trip with my grandparents, mango and coconut oils on the beach in Mazatlan Mexico on spring break in college.
My first love smelled a certain way. Like vanilla, and honey, and sunshine, Ive never met anyone who naturally smelled good like he did. It followed him wherever he went and remained behind when he left a room. I will never forget my wedding day and smelling the cleaning oil Charlesanna had used on the pews, my Dad's collogne and the scent of the lillies in my bouquet, or the day my baby daughter was born, the smell of iodine, and ultra sterilized hospital linens the sharp metal smell of blood when first held her, and then the sweet smell of the baby soap they used on her in the nursery.
I hope that some day.. twenty years from now, my girls and maybe the little man will be in a shop and pick up a shiny red candle, and breathe deeply and as the spicy aroma of cinnamon and apples fills thier nose, thier first thought will be of home, a wonderful safe childhood, and of me.
I burn candles all year round. In summer I switch to somethuing fruity and light like melon or flowery rose tones, but come the first of september? I break out rich glossy red candles that burn almost constantly from nearly every surface in my home. You can smell the cinnamon as you approach my front porch. Even our clothes smell faintly of apple pie.
Smells are very important, they trigger memory. Every major moment I can think of in my past can be related to a certain smell. My mothers perfume on my first day of school, my grandmothers old fashioned lipstick on the day she showed me how to wear it, hot California pine straw when I was not even 4 on a camping trip with my grandparents, mango and coconut oils on the beach in Mazatlan Mexico on spring break in college.
My first love smelled a certain way. Like vanilla, and honey, and sunshine, Ive never met anyone who naturally smelled good like he did. It followed him wherever he went and remained behind when he left a room. I will never forget my wedding day and smelling the cleaning oil Charlesanna had used on the pews, my Dad's collogne and the scent of the lillies in my bouquet, or the day my baby daughter was born, the smell of iodine, and ultra sterilized hospital linens the sharp metal smell of blood when first held her, and then the sweet smell of the baby soap they used on her in the nursery.
I hope that some day.. twenty years from now, my girls and maybe the little man will be in a shop and pick up a shiny red candle, and breathe deeply and as the spicy aroma of cinnamon and apples fills thier nose, thier first thought will be of home, a wonderful safe childhood, and of me.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Interview with a housewife
My name is Michele. I am almost 30... gag. No really, it makes me almost physically ill to think of it . I remember when 30 was far away and a foriegn land. I was 18 and full of plans and ideas.. and not much else. And now here I am. I cook and clean for a husband and two children in a nearly desolate intellectual wasteland. Dillon, South Carolina.
My whole life literally I swore that I would not end up here. We visted in my childhood. twice, and both times I remember thinking. WHY DO PEOPLE LIVE THERE? Yet here I am. living THERE.
Dont get me wrong, I dont dislike my life. I have a tiny house, so the cleaning part of my responsibilities are not that extensive.It can go from hogpen to spic and span in about 3 hours. And then there is the little man. He is my little companion. He is 17 months old and quite the man. I have done childcare on and off for years and years. Nanny jobs and daycares ectect. I have NEVER gotten attatched to a baby like I have him.. so when I decided that the last baby farm that I worked at was not for me, I wrangled his mom into letting me keep him at home. Most days he is a joy... other days he is a drooling imp from the pit.
I have two kids of my own. Thing 1 is 10 and while not mine biologically is mine born from my heart. Her MOTHER and my husband Steven were briefly married and we have full custody. Thing 1's mother (we'll call her JDL) is basically only that. Her biological. She comes and goes from thing 1's life as she pleases and according to what stage the state is in catching up with her on her non payment of child support. They are particularly close right now, so we havent seen her much this summer. (not since middle of June actually) And other than the fact that it makes Thing 1 sad, I am unperturbed by her absence.
Thing 2 is mine biologically. She is 5 and her "father" lives in Alaska. We havent heard from him specifially in a couple years.. however I have friends in Alaska that update me on his presence on the planet every few months.Its fine by me that way since Steven is her "Daddy". Much less confusing that way.
I am married to Steven. We met five years ago, shortly after Thing 2 was born. He is a good guy. He works hard, makes an honest living and he loves ME. Really what more can one ask for than for someone who doesnt drive you to insanity? He is decently attractive, and doesnt stink. For some men, thats pretty good. I like that guy. He is my friend... and occasionally jumping his bones isnt a bad idea either. (For those of you that are screaming UGH!!! TMI right now? deal with it... we've got a license for that kind of behavior)
We attend church at Dillon Church of God, the biggest church around these here parts. It keeps us exedingly busy. I sing in the choir, and help with the Youth Group and will soon be starting a puppet ministry with our new kids pastor. Steven works with the youth, is in the media department, and helps out in boys clubs. It is kind of a hard place to be sometimes, I have never been to a church where it was so hard to make friends. I have always had miles of friends and yards and yards of close friends. Yet here, after 3 years not a single person there has been in my home. No one has called me for any other reason than to sk me to do something, and tonight not a single person addressed me without my first addressing them. sad I say. I try to be friendly, maybe its because I am an outsider.. maybe its because we dont have a lot of money.. maybe its my quick wit and even quicker tounge.. or my devastatingly attractive family.... who knows....
My whole life literally I swore that I would not end up here. We visted in my childhood. twice, and both times I remember thinking. WHY DO PEOPLE LIVE THERE? Yet here I am. living THERE.
Dont get me wrong, I dont dislike my life. I have a tiny house, so the cleaning part of my responsibilities are not that extensive.It can go from hogpen to spic and span in about 3 hours. And then there is the little man. He is my little companion. He is 17 months old and quite the man. I have done childcare on and off for years and years. Nanny jobs and daycares ectect. I have NEVER gotten attatched to a baby like I have him.. so when I decided that the last baby farm that I worked at was not for me, I wrangled his mom into letting me keep him at home. Most days he is a joy... other days he is a drooling imp from the pit.
I have two kids of my own. Thing 1 is 10 and while not mine biologically is mine born from my heart. Her MOTHER and my husband Steven were briefly married and we have full custody. Thing 1's mother (we'll call her JDL) is basically only that. Her biological. She comes and goes from thing 1's life as she pleases and according to what stage the state is in catching up with her on her non payment of child support. They are particularly close right now, so we havent seen her much this summer. (not since middle of June actually) And other than the fact that it makes Thing 1 sad, I am unperturbed by her absence.
Thing 2 is mine biologically. She is 5 and her "father" lives in Alaska. We havent heard from him specifially in a couple years.. however I have friends in Alaska that update me on his presence on the planet every few months.Its fine by me that way since Steven is her "Daddy". Much less confusing that way.
I am married to Steven. We met five years ago, shortly after Thing 2 was born. He is a good guy. He works hard, makes an honest living and he loves ME. Really what more can one ask for than for someone who doesnt drive you to insanity? He is decently attractive, and doesnt stink. For some men, thats pretty good. I like that guy. He is my friend... and occasionally jumping his bones isnt a bad idea either. (For those of you that are screaming UGH!!! TMI right now? deal with it... we've got a license for that kind of behavior)
We attend church at Dillon Church of God, the biggest church around these here parts. It keeps us exedingly busy. I sing in the choir, and help with the Youth Group and will soon be starting a puppet ministry with our new kids pastor. Steven works with the youth, is in the media department, and helps out in boys clubs. It is kind of a hard place to be sometimes, I have never been to a church where it was so hard to make friends. I have always had miles of friends and yards and yards of close friends. Yet here, after 3 years not a single person there has been in my home. No one has called me for any other reason than to sk me to do something, and tonight not a single person addressed me without my first addressing them. sad I say. I try to be friendly, maybe its because I am an outsider.. maybe its because we dont have a lot of money.. maybe its my quick wit and even quicker tounge.. or my devastatingly attractive family.... who knows....
I LOVE STUFF
Comments on 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, and my Stuff addiction
Today is the 4th anniversary of 9/11. I dont want to use the word SURREAL.. ever, really. I hate that pretentious overused word.... yet the fact remains that it is.. surreal. Just as the hurricane footage from the Gulf cost still is after two weeks. Unbelieveable and frightening, sad and maddening. Even more so now that I am a parent and a part of my own family. I keep thinking of the loss and the humanity of losing everything or worse someone.
If given a choice what would you rather lose. Everything you own down to the last stitch of clothing, or a member of your family? Answer deep in your heart because you may be surprised at what comes out. To the world, the answer is easy, no question. take my stuff. But really think. Would you sacrifice some wierd cousin or your mother in law for your bottle cap collection, your high school yearbooks and your favorite pair of jeans? hmmmmm I'll be honest. Id have to think a minute. Dont get me wrong.. Mama, Daddy, babies? In a heartbeat, take my house. But that wierdo cousin that chews his lips? My uncle that always smells wierd? I dont know how fast I would jump to do the right thing. I like to think that eventually I would be gallant and sacrifice my coca cola tin collection for old Uncle Al.. I like to think so anyway.
So..more about attatchment to STUFF. Walmart yesterday.. OH MY GOD. what a nightmare. People everywhere buying up so much stuff. I, like every other soul in this town seems like was there, carefully illiterated list in hand... hand cleanser (more soap! yay!) paper towells, highlighters from Jasmin's school, vaccume cleaner bags ( to remove Dalton's cookie crumbs that stick to every suface in my home) Cinnamon candles (wich I will post on later) ect ect ect. As I was walking amoungst the masses looking for exactly what it was I never needed in the first place, I finally struck on WHY the Hurricane footage disturbs me so..even more than 9/11 did.
I really love my stuff. I dont have a lot of it, and it isnt the higher quality stuff you get from the mall... its walmart and hand me down stuff. There isnt a single piece of furniture in my house that didnt belong to somebody else first. But its mine now, and I like it.
I would be crushed if somebody I knew or loved was taken from me in a catastrophy like 9/11... but take my stuff too? Aak... Id be certifiable. I bet thats a lot why we keep watching this disaster on tv.. Oh my GOD! They lost all thier STUFF.. that is awful.. Yes Uncle Al and lip chewy cousin are alive and well right her beside them, wearing thier redcross tshirt and donated socks proudly... But man, they dont have any more STUFF!
hmmm I think Im gonna wait a few months and gather up some Stuff and send it down there.
Today is the 4th anniversary of 9/11. I dont want to use the word SURREAL.. ever, really. I hate that pretentious overused word.... yet the fact remains that it is.. surreal. Just as the hurricane footage from the Gulf cost still is after two weeks. Unbelieveable and frightening, sad and maddening. Even more so now that I am a parent and a part of my own family. I keep thinking of the loss and the humanity of losing everything or worse someone.
If given a choice what would you rather lose. Everything you own down to the last stitch of clothing, or a member of your family? Answer deep in your heart because you may be surprised at what comes out. To the world, the answer is easy, no question. take my stuff. But really think. Would you sacrifice some wierd cousin or your mother in law for your bottle cap collection, your high school yearbooks and your favorite pair of jeans? hmmmmm I'll be honest. Id have to think a minute. Dont get me wrong.. Mama, Daddy, babies? In a heartbeat, take my house. But that wierdo cousin that chews his lips? My uncle that always smells wierd? I dont know how fast I would jump to do the right thing. I like to think that eventually I would be gallant and sacrifice my coca cola tin collection for old Uncle Al.. I like to think so anyway.
So..more about attatchment to STUFF. Walmart yesterday.. OH MY GOD. what a nightmare. People everywhere buying up so much stuff. I, like every other soul in this town seems like was there, carefully illiterated list in hand... hand cleanser (more soap! yay!) paper towells, highlighters from Jasmin's school, vaccume cleaner bags ( to remove Dalton's cookie crumbs that stick to every suface in my home) Cinnamon candles (wich I will post on later) ect ect ect. As I was walking amoungst the masses looking for exactly what it was I never needed in the first place, I finally struck on WHY the Hurricane footage disturbs me so..even more than 9/11 did.
I really love my stuff. I dont have a lot of it, and it isnt the higher quality stuff you get from the mall... its walmart and hand me down stuff. There isnt a single piece of furniture in my house that didnt belong to somebody else first. But its mine now, and I like it.
I would be crushed if somebody I knew or loved was taken from me in a catastrophy like 9/11... but take my stuff too? Aak... Id be certifiable. I bet thats a lot why we keep watching this disaster on tv.. Oh my GOD! They lost all thier STUFF.. that is awful.. Yes Uncle Al and lip chewy cousin are alive and well right her beside them, wearing thier redcross tshirt and donated socks proudly... But man, they dont have any more STUFF!
hmmm I think Im gonna wait a few months and gather up some Stuff and send it down there.
tahday is satuhday
Steven worked today.. wich I love. Saturdays when Steven works are great days. Especially when my girls sleep off somewhere else. He works every other saturday 8-12. Today, I slept until I woke up. Dont you love that? Hmmm maybe we sleep until we wake up every single day.. no we sleep until SOMETHING, be it an alarm clock, a screaming child, a big dog, a brass band (everyone says " he could sleep through a brass band".. but has anyone really experimented with this? mmm doubtful) wakes us up. But today nothing but my own self woke me. I loved it. Nope there is nothing more lovely than sleeping until your body says. "WOAH NELLY thats enough of THAT." I stretched, I pulled the pillow over my head to see if I was really serious about being awake, and then sat slowly up to sit in the bed quietly until I was bored enough to venture out. Just lovely.
So after the obligotory staring at the mirror to confirm that yep, thats all thats ever gonna be there, was my needless shower. How many people take a shower every morning need be or not? I dont know why I do it. I shower at night.. I mean my for real shower. The get down to bussiness, wash your nooks and crannies shower. But morning come.. there I am again. I didnt run a marathon, or do anything that AHEM might make me sweat before i slept.. or whilst I slept, I just slept. I lay in one of two positions for 8-12 hours. Yet there I am soap in hand... er in big sprongy bathing poofie.
I love soap. Its really an unnatural obsession I think. In my tub there are at this moment no less than 6 kinds of soap. Baby soap, (there are no babies here, I just love the smell). deoderant soap, manly soap (blue and possesing a label with a mountain on it) flowery soap, fruity soap, moisterizing soap, scrubbing soap (with pieces of cement, nut shells, and beach sand for sluffing) and the list goes on.. that doesnt even count the bubble bath and the facial soap. I have always said that there is very little that goes wrong in my world that cannot be solved with a hot bath. I know that if I could provide a hot soapy bath for every soul in trial... the world would be a much better place.
The rest of the day was a mix of housewifery. Cleaning and Walmart.. wich will be another post for another day. Walmart on a saturday in small southern towns is evil and then I will tell you why.
So after the obligotory staring at the mirror to confirm that yep, thats all thats ever gonna be there, was my needless shower. How many people take a shower every morning need be or not? I dont know why I do it. I shower at night.. I mean my for real shower. The get down to bussiness, wash your nooks and crannies shower. But morning come.. there I am again. I didnt run a marathon, or do anything that AHEM might make me sweat before i slept.. or whilst I slept, I just slept. I lay in one of two positions for 8-12 hours. Yet there I am soap in hand... er in big sprongy bathing poofie.
I love soap. Its really an unnatural obsession I think. In my tub there are at this moment no less than 6 kinds of soap. Baby soap, (there are no babies here, I just love the smell). deoderant soap, manly soap (blue and possesing a label with a mountain on it) flowery soap, fruity soap, moisterizing soap, scrubbing soap (with pieces of cement, nut shells, and beach sand for sluffing) and the list goes on.. that doesnt even count the bubble bath and the facial soap. I have always said that there is very little that goes wrong in my world that cannot be solved with a hot bath. I know that if I could provide a hot soapy bath for every soul in trial... the world would be a much better place.
The rest of the day was a mix of housewifery. Cleaning and Walmart.. wich will be another post for another day. Walmart on a saturday in small southern towns is evil and then I will tell you why.
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