Raising kids is like yard gardening.

Raising children is a lot like yard gardening. Just stay with me and I'll explain.

Lately I have been noticing different people's parenting styles. Comparing them to mine and I have observed some things. .

Its interesting to watch how a mother's upbringing and childhood experience can MASSIVELY affect her parenting. I have been watching my cousin who has been staying with us recovering from the birth of her daughter. She was basically neglected emotionally by her Mother growing up. In response to this she practially smothers her children with love. She tells them a million times a day that she loves them. However she is so afraid that they will feel slighted or neglected if she repremands them, she just doesnt.Her 8 year old is not required to respect adults and talks back. She basically just does as she pleases.

You can imagine how well this has gone over in MY household! I was aware of the behavior of the 8 yr old before now. But it never affected me personally, so I never thought much of it. I pity her mostly, because life will prove to be a hardship for her unless she learns to respect authority.

Also this week I have had to learn the hard way the old addage. "Parenting isnt a Popularity Contest". I never really understood it until I had my children. I always thought I could be best friends with my kids. I had a friend who was really his Mom's best friend and I admired thier relationship. It wasnt until recently that I learned that most times? Its not possible. You cannot be your kid's friend. They dont need a friend. They need a parent. Its a very different relationship and they NEED it. Kids thrive under structure, and they NEED to be molded with discipline.

If you are a frequent reader you will recall that Thing One is grounded this first week of summer vacation. If you havent read "In wich I am a CSI Agent" feel free.. its an amusing read. I hate punishing my girls. But I dont feel guilty when I do, not most of the time. This week has been particularly hard since her "offence" was so long ago and her behavior between then and now has been her really great. Her usual well behaved self.But one thing I do try to do with my girls is to keep my word. I say what I mean, and mean what I say.My word is my bond. When it comes to them if I say its raining? They better get an umbrella. I like it that way. They'll never wonder about trusting me to do as I say... both in the hard things and the fun stuff.

I also know that if I dont keep them at hand they will grow like wild weeds. Dandeliions,unruly and annoying, not really good for anything. I want them to be more like a well groomed hedge. With purpose and a direction. A good hedge takes work. Weeding and grooming. Constant direction. Like a beautiful rose bush, kids have to be corrected, sometimes even pruning them back to bare branches. Knowing that for a time it will be hard to look at them, but that in the end a beautiful garden will be produced. Great fruit, and beautiful blooms.