in wich I feel like Forest Gump

I feel like Forest Gump.

You know how when someone is in your life.. you know them?What I mean to say is, when someone is an active part of your life, you recognize every outfit they wear. You know that they recently got a new haircut.. when you see thier car riding down the street, you wave.. you know its them.. cause you know thier car. You also know thier friends, whats going on this weekend and whether they have seen the new movie that came out on DVD this week.

I am missing my sister today. Until recently (ok so its been almost a year) she was living right here on the Martin compound..

(let me explain that a little. We live in the country. On a certain dirt road, that half way along has some no tresspass signs on it... past the signs? I am related to every soul that lives there. Next door to me? My parents and Aunt.. Across the street? A cousin and her family. Down the road a little? My Aunt and Uncle. Its all family back here.Some days a blessing, some days a curse.)

and I knew her life. Tonight when I turned on my little myspace page.. there was a new picture of her and she looked so different from the last time I saw her that it hit me like a ton of bricks. I dont know her life anymore and I hated it.

I missed her being here so much I could barely breathe.

I know that she is where she ought to be. And that her life is so much fuller in Alaska.. better even. But just for tonight... I am selfish and wish she was here, and that I knew her clothes, her car, her friends and whether she has seen Chronicles of Narnia or not.I saw something funny and I wanted to take it to her.. I saw something at walmart that I thought shed love.. but she is in Malaska.

I want to call her and tell her to come home RIGHT NOW. But I wont, Im not a big bawl baby, so Im not crying.. but my eyes are all runny and my nose is all snotish...

SO in the words of Forest Gump...

"Thats all I have to say about that ."