2 years

Today is the two year anniversary of the day that Steven and I were married. Our actual wedding anniversary is March 27. But 2 years ago today in front of only my immediate family in our little living room, we set things right. A friend from work came and said the most meaningful prayer and we spoke our vows.

Our actual wedding was beautiful. The cake, the flowers, my sister sang some amazing stiring music. My dress was perfect and the girls were so pretty. I even had my best friend all the way from Alaska to stand beside me.

But when I think of when Steven and I were married, my first thought is to that quiet moment in our living room, where everyone else that was actually in the room disapeared.

Recently I was thinking about that day, and praying for Steven. I saw that evening,As we stood there and our friend prayed.I noticed all the other people in the room.I saw all the "partners" from my past who had come to stand behind me.one after one they filed in.I saw Caitlin's biological father and another man whom I'd been engaged to. I saw my first boyfriend and the man id been dating when i met Steven. Each of them holding a piece of my "heart". Behind Steven, I saw his ex wife, and other women I knew he'd been with, each holding pieces of his heart.I began to panic. I certainly did not want to "marry" all of those people, and I did not want to force Steven to "marry" my past.I wanted to scream at "us" not to do it. It was at that moment that I realized the seriousness of purity. The commitment of marriage and the spiritual bond. Its so much more than just words, and nothing to do with cakes, dresses and rings.

I had to admit that I brought far more than myself to our marriage. I prayed for forgiveness for my past. For giving away what should have been Steven's. It was an amazingly freeing moment.I had been saved for years and had rededicated my life two years before. But this was something new. It gave me a different look at Steven, and at our commitment. God is so good.

I guess that might be why I feel such a burden for teenagers.They are at the place where I was where I began to give away things that didnt belong to me.



"I take you to be my cherished spouse. I promise to walk beside you in days of adversity as well as in days of great happiness.To be your help in creating a home for our family. To offer you a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on and a heart that understands. I pledge to you my undying love and constant faithfulness as your partner in ALL things. I promise to love you as an act of my will in the
presence OR absence of romantic love every single day. I commit to this promise wholly, and without reservation."