Infertility Road

This blog might get a little touchy feely and pretty transparent. Maybe even a little gross... no apologies. Ive said a million times, if you are easily offended or dont want to know things that are semi-personal in a semi-annonomous way.. then go read something else.

Just to recap or whatever. Steven and I have been trying to have a baby for.. a really long time.Most people wait till they have been married a few years.. or have been together awhile. But we have NEVER used anything to prevent pregnancy. But then our relationship is like nothing I have ever seen before. We met and we just were.Like we were two halves of a whole.. automatically an "us". There was no wierdness. We didnt "date" in a traditional sense. Honestly. Our relationship has changed very very little since we first met.We have grown together of course. But,I knew from the first date that he was the one and I wanted to make a family with him.

We just havent gotten there yet, I have whats called Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. Most commonly known as PCOS or PCOD. In its most basic description, and in my case, its just insulin resistance. My body spends so much time dealing with the insulin I cannot process that it forgets to make enough progesterone, whose job it is to notify my poor confused ovaries to release an egg every month rather than hang onto it. The egg matures and gets all packed for the trip.. but it has a crappy travel agent. So it gets all pissed off and bitter, and throws up hard walls around itself creating an ovarian cyst (that occasionally get inflamed nad nasty they hurt like.. WOAH NELLY!)
A few other fun things that come with PCOS include Irregular or absent menses,
High blood pressure ,Acne, Migranes,impossibly high Elevated insulin levels (like three times what is normal the last time we checked),or Diabetes (not yet thank you Lord!)Excess hair on the face and body (I dont even want to talk about that.. its painfully obvious that I deal with it though.) Thinning of the scalp hair (not tooo bad yet) and not least but last Weight Problems.

With the birth of yet ANOTHER baby,I was reminded again of the destination of the road Steven and I are on.That its not just annoying detours, crappy truckstops and visits from the dreaded "Aunt Flo". A "blogfriend" (someone you know only through reading eachothers blogs and commenting to eachother) had a baby girl this week. She has seriously been through some stuff to have that little kid.She not only had PCOS issues, but dealt with the inability to maintain a pregnancy after she finally achieved it. I dont have that problem. I produced Thing Two with no problems. So anyway. This "friend" had her little Victoria after a really hard scary emergency c-section and a whole long time of trying.. She is really cool and fun and is going to make a kick butt Mama. It was touching.

But mostly it gave me some new resolve. There are some things I could be doing to make this better that I am not. Carbs are the ultimate enemy when dealing with insulin resistance.. so I need not eat them.. at all. So I am going back to seriously limiting them. I can do better. So If you know me, and see me eating carbs. Slap me..or not.