goin to see the MOUSE

One week from tonight, I will be packing to go to DISNEY WORLD!!!
After back and forthing about whether we could justify taking a vacation while Steven was unemployed, and if it was smart to go or not, we decided. If we could get a really good hotel rate and if we were careful with spending we could afford it. I am soooo exited.

A lot of people dont understand my affection (affliction?) with WDW. I really cant explain it. Only to say that it is our "Happy Place". No worries, no problems, just us. I really think that its where we first became a "family" three years ago. Everything there is good. People try to be better people when they are there. It really is magical.

Yes it is "magically expensive" and yes they really have a racket with all the gift shops and commercialism. But you just cant put a price on the sound Caitie makes when she is on an adrenaline rush. Or the look on Jasmin's face when she conquers a fear. The way that Steven feels when he opens that first turkey leg :) lol If I am ever having a bad day, I just get out our photo albumns from our trips and remember. Its worth it then

Soooo.. I am super exited, and you ll have to deal with me ranting about packing, and then the trip reports when we get back... deal with it :)

spinning gears

This has been a pretty darn good weekend. I keep humming and smiling to myself. I am finding it difficult to contain my happiness... Here's why

Friday morning I awoke and as normal checked the bank account to balance our checkbook. my account balance read about 5 bazillion dollars more than I anticipated. YUP. The IRS had mercy and sent our tax refund. All of it. In a panic I called the IRS and asked about the "mistake" Thier response was... "Mrs Lane. You are in what you call a paperwork loop. Your income was low enough to not require you to set up a payment plan, and the amount of the bill has not been assesed to your account yet. You still owe the money, but youll just have to refile your income with us when you get another bill." I asked.. "umm so in enlglish? This money is mine?"
She responded "Have a nice day Mrs Lane"

wait... it gets better.


About 10 am Steven called our weekly call to check with Child Support enforcement to encourage the collection of what his ex owes us (Sometimes, when you want something you have to stand on thier feet until they pay you to go away IE If we bug them enough, they will do something) And they responded "Mr Lane, there was a payment made on Thursday. We'll be sending you a check out later today.. the amount? 3 bazillion dollars."

The check came saturday, along with the 401K payout check from Steven's last job, and a paycheck for me from the State for keeping the little man.

I could die. I can buy socks, and namebrand toilet paper.

YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY

God is so good.

Really a very good day

It is so pretty out today.. feels almost like spring. It smells fresh and clean out and there is a pleasant breeze blowing.Its in the low 70's and just feels soo good out. Its days like today that make living in this wretched place bearable. Knowing that it is not above 20 degrees in Alaska and that I may have been able to send my kids out bundled like little eskimos for mayyybe 20 minutes, and here I have all the doors and windows open and will easily send the kids out to play until supertime with out jackets at all makes it livable.

It looks as if I may be made a liar of. Steven's ex may actually be coming through and paying her childsupport like she has been saying. reportedly she was on her way to town to pay the bill in order to see Jasmin this weekend. I am skeptical of course. But fact is? It looks good. Thank the Lord! There are so many "extras" that I love to get the girls but havent been able to justify them with Steven being unemployed. YAY for shopping. YAY for a short vacation. YAY for childsupport enforcement. (You realize that all of these "YAY's" are still contingent on her doing what she said.

I have been reading a lot of blogs lately. Mostly this odd addiction I have. I love to read the blogs of families adopting from China. I love how exited they are to get thier daughters and how nervous and how wonderful they all are. There are TONS of them. They have a whole language (the adopters.. since obviously the Chinese do) of thier own and a network and a mascot! They put ladybugs on everything.. its soo cute. I think, that if Steven and I had ohhh like an extra $35 thou hanging around we'd totally adopt from there.

Thngs that make you go... " do what?"

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
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2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly)
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3 OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
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4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
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5. There are three religious truths:a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.
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6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
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7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
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8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
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9. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
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10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
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11 If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
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12. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
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13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
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14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
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15. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me .....they're cramming for their final exam.
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16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
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17 If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
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18. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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19 Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
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20. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
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21. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells
"THEIRS"?

**warning** mooshy super sappy post

Last night's Grey's Anatomy was sooo good (of course it always is) I wont go into the story or anything because I know you all watched it :)

The part that has me thinking is where Meridith tells McDreamy that she cant remember their last kiss... the last moments they were together as a happy couple. She makes the point that you never know that a certain kiss will be the last one.(of course He CAN remember, in great detail, and recounts it so sweetly that she falls for him all over again)

And she's right, you dont. My husband just walked out the door a few minutes ago, and I blew him a kiss and didnt bother to get up and go downstairs to kiss him properly. Will I live to regret that? The fact is, its a possibility. Not a HUGE possibility since he just went accross the street to watch the WWF show that my cousin Tivo'd for him. But still.

I also thought about past relationships and other people in my life who are gone now. The last moments I talked with my grandparents, or a kid in our youth group that commited suicide. The last time I remember being happy with an old boyfriend before things went South. Its funny to think, in that moment, it was just like any other day. Nothing special.

I guess what I am saying is we need to be more careful with our loved ones. Live each moment like it was the last.

I'm Bananas

Tonight Steven and I went to the grocery store to pick up something for Thing 2 to donate to her class's "not really a Valentine's Day Party" since you cant send home baked goods anymore (! How odd!) We were just shopping around, not really needing anything and just enjoying being out of the house and away from the kiddos. And I found something that made me so happy it was rediculus. I mean really.

These teeny tiny little bananas. They are soooo cute. And perfect since the Little Man only eats a few bites at a time. I was giddy with glee at these little baby bananas. Then I tasted one (I had to eat one right?) They are sweet and the texture is smoother than bigger bananas. They have a kind of apple-ish flavor and they leave a spicy aftertaste. I realize that I am discussing bananas not unlike you would a fine wine.. but seriously they are soo yummy.

So anyway, I got home and started thinking about bananas and looked them up. There is yards and yards of information on them... here is some of what I found.

Among the banana plant’s most remarkable features is that, despite its average height of 30 feet (about 9 meters), it is actually a perennial herb related to the orchid and lily. It bears huge, podlike purple flowers, and its individual long, slender fruits, or fingers, are technically berries. The banana is believed to have originated in Malaysia. India’s Islamic culture names it as the famed fruit of knowledge and in that version of the story it is said Adam and Eve covered themselves with banana, not fig, leaves. Today, the world’s greatest producers of bananas include Costa Rica, Panama, Honduras, Guatemala, Mexico, India, Brazil, Ecuador, the Philippines, and Indonesia.In many Latin American and Asian countries, banana leaves are used in place of plates. The leaves work well as wrappers in place of aluminum foil for holding and steaming foods. In Malaysia, the banana flower is cooked and eaten; in Africa, a beer is brewed from bananas.Because bananas emit a gas that promotes ripening, placing an unripe banana in a paper bag or breathable container with other produce will encourage the produce to ripen more quickly.



Banana, 1 medium
Calories: 108
Protein: 1.2g
Carbohydrate: 27.6g
Total Fat: 0.56g
Fiber: 2.83g
*Good source of: Potassium (467mg)

blogging away

This has been a pretty hectic week. Crazy in fact.Mostly because Steven and I have been opperating on very little sleep since Saturday night.

Tanus. (TAY-NUS) is a yellow livered sheepish German Sheppherd puppy who until this week lived in our back yard. He was brought in oringinally as a guard dog But we quickly found out he was a wienee.Tanus is a baby, who barks all night long... and did so ALL night saturday night. I slept mayyybe 1 complete hour. Sunday night, the same thing, monday night, again with the barking, whining and howling. Thankfully last night was the begining of the reign of peace. Tanus has gone to be a "stud dog" with a family member FOREVER. Dont get me wrong. I love our pets, and I was sypathetic to Steven who got a little tearey eyed to watch his companion be driven away (to a FARM with room to run and play, wild animals to chase, and FEMALES who actually want his attentions.. I mean cmon its like big masculine doggie heaven) BUT THANK YOU GOD TANUS IS GONE. I slept sooo well last night in beautiful peaceful silence.

Today our lack of finance caught up with us. I am begining to get that "ohhh Lord pease tell me where the money for these bills is coming from" feeling again. Our insurances are due in 2 weeks. And then Thing 2 called from the elementary school. Her SHOES were pinching her feet and she was hobbling around (according to a slightly amused teacher.. I didnt think it was very funny at all)I am aware that it is time to buy both Things One and Two spring/summer clothes and shoes. Thing two especially is starting to look "raggedy". She has grown a LOT this school year and has gone up TWO shoe sizes since I last bought shoes for her.Daddy went to Wallyworld and bought her some tennis shoes and took them to her. (everyone say AWWW)I was so embarassed. Its the first time that my child has needed something and I truely could not provide it for her. I was hoping that she could hold out for just a couple more weeks until what little tax refund we are getting this year gets here. I know that it rested pretty heavy on Steven since he refused to discuss it. It'll work out. God knows the need as well or better than I do.My pride is being spanked pretty soundly though

Spanglish

I just watched the first movie I have seen in a REALLY long time that I felt was worth anything.And shock of all shocks ADAM SANDLER was a headliner in it!

Spanglish is the story of a mexican immigrant who comes to work with an upperclass LA family as told by her daughter in her Princeton application essay. Adam Sandler,Tae Leoni, and Cloris Leachman are incredible. Even Penelope Cruise is really really good.

Its this mexican mama's battle to keep her daughter grounded, and normal, and the way a spoiled self involved white woman realizes that she loves her husband.

One scene I absolutely loved was when the white wife, who has been having an affair is talking with her mother and her mother says to her.. "This is when I say to you, your low self esteem is just pure common sense" OMG! How great is that?

I think the thing that I loved most about this movie was that the characters didnt disapoint me and give into what most people would. The father (Adam Sandler) and Flor (Penelope Cruise) are confronted with the opportunity and even the permission to commit adultery. And yet they dont. Flor says to the man who is holding her in his arms. "There are some risks you just dont take when you have children" And she was so right. When you have kids you cant always do just what is easy. You have to make the hard decisions and do what may be harder, but will bring the safer outcome.

LOVED LOVED LOVED this movie. I am still in shock that Adam Sandler can actually be a serious actor. He was amazing. Yay for him

Overtime

Last night was our first "overtime" with the new rules in place. It was smoooooth. We were able to shut down the street between the family life center and the church and "bull pen" the kids into a specific area. They werent allowed to hang out at thier cars and they didnt run in and out. Everyone that was there had a pretty good time and we had no problems. It was so nice. Parents seemed to appreciate it too. It was nice to leave without worrying about what might happen.

When we were leaving I picked up some of the yellow "police line do not cross" tape and Steven and I wrapped it around My Dad's truck before going to bed last night. HAHA HA HAHA. I havent laughed more in recent days. My cousin woke up at 430 and began to panic and waited till 7 and came over to ask what had happened in Daddy's truck Daddy assumed it was another cousin being silly and he ranted and raved all morning about that stupid kid and how he was gonna light him up with the beebee gun when he came again.. Steven and I laughed the whole morning about it.. Finally we gave in and tol that it had been us.. only now I am afraid we have begun a war.. I'll be watching my back for the next few weeks for sure :)

Thing One and Thing Two

It has come to my attention that maybe having my kids names listed on the internet is a little risky.. what with all the other information I have in my blog, and the fact that I suddenly had a HUGE spike in my blog readership (why? why? why?) some creepster might try to obscond with them.. so I have gone back through and edited it. I have a blogfriend that calls her kids "thing one" (the elder)and "thing two" (the younger) and I love that since it is a Dr. Suess reference, and it protects the "innocent" The other one will be dubbed "the boy". Call it plagerism call it cheating.. but I'm calling it mine. If you know me at all, you'll know wich child Im speaking of, and if you dont you can email me if you got a question.. and if I trust you not to be a creepster.. youll get my answer.

A new season

We had our first week with the youth after Rodney departed (moved not died). Things went really really well. I was really happy. It amazed me how the kids repsponded to the changes. The structure is going to be awesome. The new security measures worked tonight. Let's hope that it continues to go so smoothly. I think a lot of the kids were here tonight to check things out.. see how it was going to be with the new people.. next week will tell the tale.. how many kids we'll retain, and who will leave. But I think we may keep more than I orginally thought. yay us.

Brian preached about sowing seeds and asked "What's growing in your garden" For some reason the subject seemed vaugly familiar.. like I'd heard a sermon not unlike it from someplace else.. maybe I have. Its a good analagy. In the very end, he bagan to touch on "a new season" and it struck chords in me.

I have been praying for direction for after Dalton goes to preschool. All this past year I have felt like he needed me. That there was a reason for my being home to care for him.. but I really feel like my time with him is over. I am ready to move on. Not to say that I wont miss him like crazy, and that it wont be traumatic for me to let him go... but I know that it's time.

I think that God may be birthing my career.. finally. I think I know what I want to be when I grow up. Ive been researching and looking into attending Massage therapy shcool. For years I've wanted to complete my nursing degree. I am nearly to my LPN only missing I think one or two classes. But something keeps getting in the way.. mostly the math classes. Something just didnt gel with me.

Now I know why. I have this philosophy. Americans dont touch each other enough. All things and notions sexual aside. Basic touch is lacking. As humans we need it. We need human contact. Ever accidentally "touch" someone? I bet you apologized. I know that massage has actual physical benefits.. muscle relaxation, toxin release. But I think it also has major emotional benefits. Its proven that it releases endorphins, seratonin and all the yummy feel good chemicals. It makes you emtionally feel better. So this is my vision.

I want to create a "feel better" place.Like a day spa only better. A quiet relaxing space where you could make an appointment for a massage, take an uninterupted bubbble bath in an awesome clawfoot tub or take a Vischy Shower. (a shower that has strategically placed shower heads) Have a seaweed scrub, a foot massage maybe drink a cup of tea or a smoothie. I know it seems like a lot. But I know that I'd pay good money to have a space like that... to have a place where I could actually schedule "me" time. "yes I have a 4pm appointment for a bubble bath and a massage" The exectution of the idea is still marinating in my mind. It'd have to be an imaculatly clean, and super super classy place, in order to escape the old west bath house feel. Id have to be choosy about my clients.. maybe limiting it only to women.. and then have something separate for male massage clients.

Im praying about it. In the mean time I am looking into massage therapy schools in the area and how I can pay for it. Id have to work in local hair salons to work up a clientle. But I want to make my own place an eventual goal. YAY me. It feels good to have a direction to be thinking of.

2 years

Today is the two year anniversary of the day that Steven and I were married. Our actual wedding anniversary is March 27. But 2 years ago today in front of only my immediate family in our little living room, we set things right. A friend from work came and said the most meaningful prayer and we spoke our vows.

Our actual wedding was beautiful. The cake, the flowers, my sister sang some amazing stiring music. My dress was perfect and the girls were so pretty. I even had my best friend all the way from Alaska to stand beside me.

But when I think of when Steven and I were married, my first thought is to that quiet moment in our living room, where everyone else that was actually in the room disapeared.

Recently I was thinking about that day, and praying for Steven. I saw that evening,As we stood there and our friend prayed.I noticed all the other people in the room.I saw all the "partners" from my past who had come to stand behind me.one after one they filed in.I saw Caitlin's biological father and another man whom I'd been engaged to. I saw my first boyfriend and the man id been dating when i met Steven. Each of them holding a piece of my "heart". Behind Steven, I saw his ex wife, and other women I knew he'd been with, each holding pieces of his heart.I began to panic. I certainly did not want to "marry" all of those people, and I did not want to force Steven to "marry" my past.I wanted to scream at "us" not to do it. It was at that moment that I realized the seriousness of purity. The commitment of marriage and the spiritual bond. Its so much more than just words, and nothing to do with cakes, dresses and rings.

I had to admit that I brought far more than myself to our marriage. I prayed for forgiveness for my past. For giving away what should have been Steven's. It was an amazingly freeing moment.I had been saved for years and had rededicated my life two years before. But this was something new. It gave me a different look at Steven, and at our commitment. God is so good.

I guess that might be why I feel such a burden for teenagers.They are at the place where I was where I began to give away things that didnt belong to me.



"I take you to be my cherished spouse. I promise to walk beside you in days of adversity as well as in days of great happiness.To be your help in creating a home for our family. To offer you a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on and a heart that understands. I pledge to you my undying love and constant faithfulness as your partner in ALL things. I promise to love you as an act of my will in the
presence OR absence of romantic love every single day. I commit to this promise wholly, and without reservation."

Book em' Dann-o

This weekend was the begining of the transition with the youth at our church. Rodney is gone and I will shock people by saying I am glad.. not that I didnt love Rodney and Tara. And not that I feel like they didnt do a good job. But I have been feeling the "winds of change" for some time now. I have felt the need for something different in my spirit for a long while.. maybe since the end of summer. It was like the house is built, now bring in a decorator. I'd never say that outloud, espcially right now while people are feeling so wounded by Rodney's departure.

It has amazed me at how much this youth ministry means to me. I didnt expect the burden that I feel. I certainly didnt expect to feel responsible for what happens there. But I do. It has to be a God thing. Because usually kids are my thing...like little kids. Its so amazing what God can do when he wants to make a change. I have all this experience with little kids. Puppet training and years of kids camps and VBS and missions trips to minister to 3rd world kids... yet I dont feel guilty one little bit for not working with the kids here. I fought it hardcore... even going as far as begining talks with Pastor Scott to get a puppet team started. I just cant get into it.

This weekend we met with the pastoral staff that is going to take care of things in the interim. Some people are talking.. saying that pastor Dority is not planning to find a youth pastor, and just leave things as they are now. Im not feeling that at all. Ive been praying for God to send us a fresh annointing and someone that is on fire.

We talked about a lot of security stuff. To be honest it was pretty depressing to hear. I hate that its necesary, and while I know that it's serious stuff. I absolutely hate the attitude that some people have. They are parents who attend maybe one youth activity a month. They arent invested in these kids and then they dominate the conversation with gloom and doom. Even going as far as to imply that the "problem" kids arent welcome. That we should tailor our youth ministry for the "church core kids" and do what we can to keep the riffraff out. It broke my heart. Of course there was nothing direct said. No one came out and said it in plain english, but thats the implication that was made.

I hate to tell "them" that Jesus did not hang out with the "church core kids" In fact he would have sat right in the midst of the "riff raff". I try to imagine him walking with them or sitting with them on the grass outside. He loves the church core kids... but they arent the ones that need to be reached. I dont mean to ignore them. I love those kids. I was one of them growing up. I want to reel MORE in to become core kids. But that wont happen unless we work with the riff raff.

A lot of changes are coming.. private security, and a metal detecting wand. The staff is finally being nailed down to actually HELP and hang with the kids. I will admit, I have been guilty of hiding in the kitchen and not taking as big a part as I should. But I do patrol outside, and walk around, Steven and I are almost always he last to leave. On wednesday nights I always sit in the middle of the kids. I hope that its as dramatic as Im hoping it will be.

a little ha ha for you

just one more...


Joan, who was a rather well-proportioned woman, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for a line-less tan. She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear. "Excuse me, miss," said the flustered assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday." "What difference does it make?" Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel." "Not exactly," said the embarrassed man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight."

Happy Elizabeth's Birthday

Today is my best friend's 30th birthday. Somehow I am finding great glee in the fact that today is her birthday and not mine... well that SHE is 30, and I am still 29. Its sick, but I like it.. and I figure anything that makes you have a good day that isnt phamastical, or illegal is a pretty good thing huh? When she turned 16 first, I said to her "one day you'll be 30 first too.. and I will love it" turns out I was right. I do.

Elizabeth is my one true good best friend. I have several other people to whom I have been attatched to in my life... Joshua, and Amy H... and now my husband. But she is the one person I know loves me no matter what. No matter how long were apart we pick up right where we left off as if we only paused in our conversation.

She has proven herself. I know her. I know her tastes, her humor and her past. I know she loves lemons, and junk food. I know she likes old movies and that she eats onions and garlic and likes warm places and reading books. And she knows me.

I was in her wedding.. and she was in mine. We have been in eachothers lives since we were in the same kindergarten class.. we became best friends later than that, but still. She was there. When my Nana and Papa died she was there.Holding my head on when I thought it might blow off.

When my then fiance called from Saudi Arabia at 4 am and broke things off a few weeks before our wedding, my fingers dialed her number automatically without giving a thought to the hour. Her new husband was shocked im sure.. but she listened to me cry and never once said "I told you so" even though she had.

When I was floundering in self distruction, she didnt point it out, and when I dated jerk after jerk she listened to me as I justified my relationships. She was the person I called first when I found out I was pregnant with Thing 2 , and she didnt judge.. I knew I was safe with her. I still do.

Everyone needs one true good best friend. Im so glad I have mine... and that she is thirty.. and I am 29.. for 6 more months.

literary spillage

I dont really have anything specific to blog today.. nothing profound to say... not even a recipe to tempt my dieting friend with.. so you get random life stuff.

Last night was Pastor Rodney's last wednesday night with the kids. Youd think that they'd have been on best behavior. But not so. They were exceptionally bad. In fact I dont remember them acting out as badly as they did last night in a long time. Sad really. Im sure he will be glad to get gone from them. Makes me a little concerned for the future. Our kids pastor Scott is taking over, planning to make a lot of changes. Im a little nervous about that too. He is all about rules and regulations, and I am afraid that we will lose a lot of our kids if it gets to strict. But themn what kind of ministry are we doing if all we ever get to do is make sure that they arent killing one another, doing drugs on premesis, or worse. Im praying that it will be smoother than I imagine that its going to be.

Thing 2 is acting strangely. She is hungry all the time.. I mean like tapeworm hungry, but as soon as she eats she cries that her tummy hurts. She isnt constipated, and she doesnt want to throw up. But she acts like it really hurts. Im confused. I may have to end up tkaing her to the dr if it doesnt get better.

We talked to steven's ex last night.. it appears that the state has screwed us once again. Her tax refunds are sopposed to be coming to us to catch up back child support, but the way it looks to her tax preparer, nothing was done. They suck. I dont understand why it is so hard for them to understand that a man actually has custody of his child. Its not brain surgery, but there it is. GRRR once again, my vacation chances foiled.

The little man was a wild thing yesterday. He spilled things, he made messes and he threw fits. I was exhausted at the end of the day. I dont remember caitlin being this wild, ever. Mom says not even close. Maybe I want to reconsider my choice to try for another baby? I might get a little boy. they are scary.

The Age of Dinosaurs

" I love you, You love me.
We're a happy family
With a great big HUG and a Kiss
from me to you!
Wont you say you love me too?"

The time has finally come. The day is here, and I could not be happier. The Little man has officially discoverd BARNEY. Today we have watched "Barney's Imagination Island" twice and "BARNEY UNPLUGGED LIVE IN NY" in a constant loop. I love that purple guy.

Years ago, when I first discovered Thing 2 was on her way, I swore. To ALL that is holy, that no child of mine would be watching any mindless sappy purple dinosuar. There would be no barney sheets, lampshades or purple plushy animals. Most of all I would not waste the brain power of my daughter with that STUPID DINOSAUR. She even wore a tiny onesie that read "To Hip For Purple Dinosaurs."

And I did pretty well. I found "Baby Einstien" and classic Mickey Mouse. I put brain music on the cd player and read to her nonstop. Then it happened, one sunday morning when Caitlin was about 18 months old. I was flipping through channels, truely at the end of my Mommy rope. When passing the public television channel,I paused. I swear, only for a second to see if Sesame Street was on. But I was tooo late. There he was. Barney. A disgustingly bright and cheerful shade of Purple and singing about how special this was or how "super-de-dooper" that was. Thing 2 stopped mid scream. Dropped her sippy cup and tilted her head to the left, her eyes got glassy and She approached the tv with wonder.A huge smile appeared on her face. She began to rock back and forth to the unoriginal music. I was in big big trouble.

From that day forward we were a Barney household. When Steven and I began dating instead of the typical flowers, candy, and other meaningless love tokens, he brought me new barney tapes... and fed Thing 2's addiction.

She eventually grew out of the old purple guy. I've missed him. He and his companions BJ and Babybop lay abbandoned at the bottom of the stuffed animal crate, and her favorite Barney Pillow that I once ventured out in a rainstorm to recover from the van is no longer a sleep neccesity. In fact The little man slept on it this afternoon. I know that Thing 2's childhood wont last forever, it wont last long at all, but I will cling to it for all I am worth...

"Hey boys and girls! lets sail for Imagination island. get your hat, and hoist the mainsail... babybop dont forget your blankie!"

Hello? GPC dept? There has been a mistake.

I am begining to think that I have been touched by the "Generational Parental Curse" The GPC as I shall call it, is that epithet muttered by every parent in moments of exasperation and consternation. "I hope you have one ten times as bad as you." Only I am afraid something has gone terribly awry. I have recieved my younger sister's GPC!
As adults my sister and I have FINALLY found our friendship. I have grown far fonder of her in recent years than I was growing up. In fact since her move home to Alaska last summer, I miss that girl far more than I care to admit. I grieve for the years we lost fighting. But I love knowing that I am making a friend in her.I am proud of who she is and of her amazing musical talent. I love her very much. Now that I have made my mother bawl, I'll get back to what I was saying (Tina? I WIN.)
But as a kid and teenager? My younger sibling was emotionally delicate . She cried... all the time, over almost everything. Ask any number of my childhood friends to impersonate my kid sister growing up and they will without exception screw up thier faces and let out a whiney cry and say "I just dont feel good you guys.. leave me alone." With migrane headaches and likely mild depression. I'm sure she didnt feel good most of the time.. whatsmore, I wasnt the most understandng of sisters.. but what teenager is truely sypathetic to thier bratty kid sister? I didnt understand why she was so emotional all of the time. At that time I was somthing of a "cold fish" I didnt do emtotion and even now I know how to turn it off.
Through college I dreaded mornings. She HATED to get out of bed in the morning.. Granted, we did live in Alaska, and it was COLD. Even today, she drags herself from the covers and I think.. that were it acceptable for a grown woman to whine and throw fits? She throw the occasional one and return to her bed.Tina loves to sleep and I dont fault her for it. Its who she is.

if growing up with a crying whiney sister and not being nice about it is the joke?

here is the punchline....

Thing 2 is a walking breathing clone of my sister.

Thing 2 is in a "stage".(God help me if it isnt just a stage) That kid cries about everything. Her heart is shattered into a million pieces and she produces real tears at the drop of a hat. The weather isnt right, the dog is in her way, The little man pinched her, (ok so he DOES pick on Thing 2 for no apparent reason.Its the strangest thing. He is sweet to everyone else, but to Thhing 2? He is devil incarnate.)I am at a loss as to what to do for her.
This morning drew me so quickly back to my teen years I had to check myself to really believe that I was standing in my own hallway and not in the bathroom of the house I grew up in! Thing 2 did not under any circumstances want to go to school. She began wimpering as soon as she heard me wake her sister in the next room. She begain wailing in earnest when I stood in her doorway and informed her that this was friday and the 100th day of kindergarden, and that she needed to get out of bed so she and her father could go to the grocery store to buy 100 goldfish crackers to share with her classmates. Her response was. "I HATE 100 DAYS CELEBRATIONS. I hate school. AND I hate the jeans you layed out for me to wear today. They are "poofy" and I wont wear them." All of this was sqwawked at me before she even opened her eyes. When I informed her that yes she would be attending school and that the levis I had layed out were exactly like every other pair she owned and that she WOULD be wearing them.. the tears began to flow. She lay on the couch, turned to face inward and began to sob. Giant crocodile tears. Heartwrenching awful hicough causing tears. I think the GPC people need to check thier records. This is not funny.

the Score. IRS 1 Michele 0

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Well folks, we won the battle, but lost the war. Steven and I went to the local IRS office today. I presented them with our bill, our income and our output. I gave them our dependants and our credit score... I even offered them Dalton (funny they didnt even blink when I tried it.. I wasnt serious. SHEESH)

The outcome was ok.. not what Id hoped for...wich was a blank slate and a pat on the head telling me to "do better next time". But ok. We still owe the IRS $6,898.32. That fact remains.. and I was repeatedly reminded of this fact throughout the process. BUT the IRS will not garnish Steven's unemployment wages. They will also not require a monthly payment of us. We fall so deeply within the poverty level that we essentially have more bills monthly than we make... In fact when the little lady did all the input it came out that the IRS should actually be paying us a little over a dollar a month. When she brought her supervisor over to examine that fact she laughed heartily and said "ohh no that CANT be right." Personally I think it WAS right, but who am I?

In the end it came out.. we owe them our income tax refund every single year until the bill is paid off. It will still collect penalties and interest (24% yearly) until we pay them all of "thier" money. With all of our little EIC and child credits that should only take 2 years.

Stupidheads.

No vacation for Michele

Wahhhhh.

Grey's Anatomy

Ok. So "Grey's Anatomy" was SO good last night. Dr. Mcdreamy was soo dreamy. Its been a long long time since someone on tv has made me wanna swoon..Lemee tell ya girls.. he is a hottie... mabe a little short for my tastes but nonetheless dreamy. I tried explaining to my hairstylist who "Meredith" was so she could give me that sexy tousled look.. didnt go so well, now I just have perpetual bad hair days.

In case you are like.. um totally from another planet. Grey's is a show on CBS on sunday nights. It is following 5 surgical interns who live and work in in Seattle Washington. It is fab. I really love it.Its sooo much better than ER ever hoped to be... and believe me I LOVED ER. If you ARE in fact from another planet and are not familiar with the show go to www.cbs.com/greysanatomy to get the scoop and then start watchin! Youre really missing out on some of possibly the best stuff on tv. YAY